Today, i have the urge of updating my blog with yet another entry, but somehow, when usually my words are flowing with all that happened yesterday... today i sit here blank and silent.
Maybe because it was because of a conversation with an old friend yesterday, contemplating on recent events in my life... Yesterday, after an uneventful day at work, i went over to Sacha's office to see how she was doing; i mean, experiencing such a loss she had yesterday would be very painful, so i wanted to check up on her. After the usual waiting (i actually fell asleep again in the 3rd floor lobby) we went to check out the Setiabudhi building, also meeting some friends there. The place was pretty okay, if you have deep pockets, that is. The cheapest place to hang was Starbucks, and that's saying a lot! So after looking around, we went to Starbucks and talked, talked, talked.
There is always a time in your life that eventually you have to accept a loss, an unavoidable loss, just swallow it, and get on with your life. That's when your new life truly begins. Although i avoid talking much about the past on this blog, i must say, the events of the recent past were also the basis of making this blog. Letting go of a large part of me is proving very hard, because it is much of who i am today. It's not that i should forget it, no, i will never forget, but more that i should finally accept it as part of the past, and not part of my active life, my active mind, my active heart.
[New] first steps are always made with reluctance, fear, apprehension... but most of all curiosity and the drive to move forward. I'm not too proud of a man to admit that i'd need a hand in taking these steps... towards the new unknown.
Okay... time for me to write a long letter.
Baby steps Ellie, baby steps. ;)
ReplyDelete