Sunday, February 26, 2006

Statistics Must Be An Illusion As Well

Yes... as the title reads, statistics must be an illusion as well.
Why are there statistics, what are they by definition?
Statistics is a collection of numbers collerated to any fact, for instance point averages, assists and defences; population numbers, percentages of this and that; and for a larger data pool, the statistics are often derived from a random sample pool that is only part of the greater data pool (to save time; with it's own calculations of deviation).
Hence... with deviation, comes error.... and probable mistakes.

Statistics say... 90% of the Indonesian population is Muslim. If that is the fact, why are 90% of all the girls I find interesting Christian??

Go figure.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Over-ripe Banana In My Hand

So, here I sit, in front of my computer, over-ripe banana in my hand, one of two that I will be eating for breakfast. I woke up at about 7 AM this morning, after going to bed at 1 AM, but went to sleep again soon after.... only waking up again at 9 AM.
The last two hours of stolen sleep were a bit uneasy, but not the 'bad' uneasy, more to anxious.

Not anxious, excited.

For the first time in weeks, I'm excited to start this new day, and the days after. Go figure!
Let's hope Macfreak can make it to my place tomorrow to install some new software on this deceript Mac, so I can fill it with new life again... like I am filling myself...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


What I've kept with me
And what I've thrown away
And where the hell I've ended up
On this glary random day
Were the things I really cared about
Just left along the way
For being too pent up and proud

Woke up way too late
Feeling hung over and old
And the sun was shining bright
And I walked barefoot down the road
Started thinkin' about my old man
It seems that all men
Wanna get into a car and go

Here I stand--sad & free
I can't cry and I can't see
What I've done
God...What have I done

So don't you know I'm numb, man
No I don't feel a thing at all
Cause its all smiles & business these days
and I am indifferent to the loss
I've faith that there's a soul somewhere
whose leading me around
I wonder if she knows
Which way is down...

Here I stand--sad & free
I can't cry and I can't see
What I've done
God...What have I done

I poured my heart out
I poured my heart out
it evaporated...see?

Blind man on a canyon's edge
of a panoramic scene
Or maybe I'm a kite
That's flying high & random
Dangling a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room
Head on a stranger's knee
I'm sure back home
They think I've lost my mind

[Ben Folds Five]

Friday, February 17, 2006

Hari Ini, Dan Bukan Cuma Hari Ini

Matahari dan bulan berlalu bergantian beralihan
Namun aku hanya bisa duduk di sini

memikirkanmu -
dan merindukanmu

dan berpikir, mengapa cintaku menjadi racun

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

[U2; Grammy 2006 Song Of The Year]

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The End Of An Era

Today, I headed to the bank this morning to close an account.
Not just any account, but a special bank account, which was under my name, and used for my old company's account. The company had closed down its Jakarta office in 2004, on the day I left, but we left the account open to receive any incoming payments for the sale of office inventory. Yes, we had to sell everything, and anything that couldn't be sold, was given away.
To this date there is still a lot of stuff from that office, which could not be sold, and thus HQ decided to write off that inventory (which includes a really big photocopy machine), as I'm pretty sure the depreciation of those objects had reached zero anyway.

So, the office that taught me almost everything I needed for my current job, taught me life in Jakarta, and contributed a large part of my adult education, has finally come to rest. So from this day, it will only be a memory...

Three cheers for the friends, hope that the bonds we share do not die with the office...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Lost Reason

Not this thought again,
it's been circling through my mind
For ages and yesterday
It left me blind

It's though I had lost movement, had lost reason
Feeling everything but the season
Yet another day comes...

Without feeling, without due,
Without smiles, and without you

Say what you want to me,
I cannot hear it anymore
The steps that you will make today
Can't replace the steps before

I know that I can't forget, but I'll just live with it
Frame you in my heart a bit
But until the new day comes... it will be-

Without feeling, without due,
Without smiles, and without you

[Joe Barry]

Monday, February 13, 2006

Overrated Occasion

Why is Valentine's seemingly important?
As has been discussed and elaborated many times over, Valentine's Day, which may have had benign origins, has become a full-scale industrialization on the one thing that anyone in the world agrees on: love. So, commercial entities take advantage of the moment, actually driving the moment so people join along, to sell a variety of goods from chocolates to diamonds to express love.

Well, with your loved ones, love is the same special thing every day, so why should today be any different?

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Never A New Day Without Coffee

It's pouring cats and dogs outside, as children would say if the rain is hard.
I wanted to go to the gym this morning, but sitting in front of the computer finishing up some stuff and the rain outside just kind of attached me into one position for at least an hour, which didn't give me enough time to go to the gym. I need at least 1,5 hours to do my routine, and if I leave home at 7, it would only give me an hour. Oh well, I can go tomorrow, I guess.
One of the habits I have procured over the new year is drinking coffee. I'm not drinking coffee in copious amounts or having stringent standards about which is the best coffee, I just buy one of those simple 3-in-1 sachets (coffee with cream, of course) and add another spoon of sugar (viva obesity!). I drink one glass every day, when I feel like it, and I guess it helps my low-blood pressure, other than the now-frequent excercise. So now, I am typing this, while drinking my cup of coffee.
So like the red band on my right hand, the new habit is also to remind me of change, and my goals.

Tuesday, February 7, 2006


Eating alone in a fast food restaurant,
Watching nothing on TV to let the time go by
Walking by the foodstalls and cigarette men,
On the long journey to my house nearby

So do you hear?
The rain moving the leaves on the tree
What do I fear?
Nothing more than the flood coming to me, but-

When it's cold outside,
I'll be a warm man on the inside
When the cold subsides
I'll be fine

Strumming my guitar singing no particular song,
Trying to make sense of what comes out
Writing anything that comes to my head,
Searching for the answer to what it's all about

Can you see?
The headlights at the corner of the street
Then I sing
Bringing to my mind thoughts discreet

When it's cold outside,
I'll be a warm man on the inside
When the cold subsides
I'll be fine

When it's cold outside,
I'll be a warm man on the inside
When the spring arrives...

[Joe Barry]


Kondisi paling menyebalkan terjadi apabila keadaan sekitar kita, entah itu kebijakan dari atasan, keadaan pasar, profesionalitas, ataupun norma, menjepit kita hingga kita hanya dapat melakukan sedikit; kita tidak bisa bekerja dan berkarya seoptimal yang diinginkan. Sejumlah hal yang seharusnya bisa dilakukan menjadi hanya setengah dari potensi yang diharapkan.
Ada orang yang akan merasa jengah dan berusaha keluar dari kondisi ini, ada juga orang yang mencoba belajar hidup dengan kondisi tersebut dan berusaha tidak memikirkannya.

Alhasil, timbullah salah satu pelajaran terberat dari kedewasaan: menciptakan sebuah keseimbangan harmonis antara idealisme dan dunia nyata.

Monday, February 6, 2006

Fade To Black

The world has seemed grey for the past few weeks.
Forget about the weather, because it's not just the weather. Alfa says I look like someone about to go ill or something. Perhaps that is true, I'll only know in a few days.
Even though the weekend was filled with a fun experience at the beach, returning to the city has amplified the colors somewhat, if colors could be amplified. On the other hand, whatever color there is, it seems to be slipping away, faded out by the hard rain...
I know I'm not supposed to make a posting like this anymore, but what else can I write?

Friday, February 3, 2006

Return Of Dara

Dara, I'm glad you're well, and hopefully you can sing again soon.
You have been my inspiration since long before, and today, I'm sure we'll embark on many mysterious and compelling journeys.

I'm so happy now!

Wednesday, February 1, 2006