Sunday, December 31, 2006

Back To The Real World, And The Endless Stream Of Paperwork

After living almost the past 2 weeks in dreamland, and not really touching on work issues, today is my last day in blissfull holidaze, and tomorrow I must return and pay my dues to the real world to make sure I have a paycheck waiting for me later this month.
The family trip to Pulau Umang, although not entirely memorable, was much cherished because of the company than the place itself. I'd recommend the place to people, but I'd also recommend they spruce up a little bit, heheh. I got to do a lot of reading (and sleeping; a staple activity on holiday), and even got to swim in the sea (and actually see the sand you're walking on while wading). The rest of the holiday was almost spend driving around, considering the combined schedule of me and Ari, and the distance between Serpong and Jakarta.

I'm a bit dreading at the issues I have to handle tomorrow (I have no idea what, but I'm sure it involves a lot of paperwork), but I want to come in early and start detailing the plans for 2007. Anyway, bad or good, a fresh start (and a fresh attitude) is always important, and part of me actually can't wait to get back to work and clear all the ruckus currently hovering in the industry.

Happy new year, everybody! Don't know if it will be a great year or not, but I'll sure as damndest do my best to make it so...

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


I'm currently sitting in our bungalow at Pulau Umang Resort, where the whole family is going for holidays after Christmas. We left Serpong earlier today and I spend most of the afternoon catching up on either my sleep or my books. I must say, it is a refreshing, much-deserved break, even if I say so myself. I still had an occasional call about work, but fortunately a lot of issues in Jakarta can wait, apparently (even one of my biggest clients: they'll just have to be forced to wait).

Nevertheless, I have brought the Mac with me, planning to do my cousin's CD cover design (we'll just see how that goes later), and also doing a bit of overdue blogging...

Anyway, for everybody celebrating, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

JIFFEST 2006 (continued)

Here is the rest of my reviews of the notable movies during JIFFEST 2006:

Taking place in pre-independence India, when the British still ruled, it tells a story of an 9 year-old widow (wedded at a very early age) who, by an ancient Hindu tradition, must be cast away from the family, and brought to a house filled with widows. In that time, widows are considered the lowest class of humans, reviled and bringing bad luck to the family. The story rotates around the widows in the house, yet still focusing on the 9 year old (I forgot her name) and Kalyana, enacting on a forbidden love to a Gandhi sympathizer. The movie, made in India, brings forth a different, bitter side to India's history, rarely seen outside the onslaught of Bollywood movies.

'The World's Fastest Indian'
This movie features Anthony Hopkins in his best role yet, at least according to me, playing Bert Munroe, a New Zealander with life long dreams of driving his modified vintage Indian motorcycle to top speeds at the Great Salt Plains of Utah. Taken from a true story, we follow Bert's persistence in pursuing his dream (although he is almost 60), especially when he learns that he has a terminal illness. Along the way he meets unique yet heartwarming characters helping him along his journey to ride the world's fastest motorcycle; hence the title.

'Russian Dolls'
A French movie centering on a playboy, going through woman after woman (at some points two at a time) and finding out what he really wants, in life, work, and love. The movie, other than the twists and turns of 'Melrose Place' type relationships, also takes us on a trip around Europe, even managing to take us to St. Petersburg and Moscow... makes me so envious of how easy it is to travel (and work) in Europe....

'The Syrian Bride'
This movie takes a setting in the Golan Heights, occupied territory by Israel but also claimed by Syria. A Druze family is preparing to wed away their daughter to a Syrian suitor, one she has never met, but also in the process, they will never meet her again, as if a citizen departs from the Golan Heights into Syria, they will never be allowed back in. The story tells a believable tale of complications of living in the Occupied Territories, whether you are Druze, Arab or Jewish, although not really continuing on the various subplots. The end of the movie left me just hanging...

'Two Sons Of Fransisco'
Fransisco, a farmer who apparently is very fertile, tries to support his 6 children on a self-sufficient farm (and also paying rent in farm products to his father in law), yet still having dreams that the only way his two eldest sons can get out of their poverty is to become musicians. The father busts all his produce stocks to buy instruments for his sons (and also writes songs for them), and eventually brings the children to the city to try their luck there. The story tells the roots of one of the most popular country singers in Brazil.

Friday, December 15, 2006


The past week I have been sneaking out from the office early to catch a few films during the Jakarta International Film Festival (JIFFEST), with its 8th incarnation running from 8 to 17 December 2006. Since there have been sooo many films that I have watched (and 4 films to go this weekend), I don't feel like doing the usual long review that I do with movies. But here are some highlights of the films that made an impression:

A story about an Syrian family which had emigrated to Canada a generation ago, and the father had passed away, leaving the family business to the son. The lead character, Sabah, in her conservative Muslim dress, is almost 40, single, and stays at home to take care of her mother. Her 'subversive' actions begin with swimming, where she has to take her conservative dress off... and from there the story goes to touching on the various problems that a Muslim family has when living in a Western environment. That is where the movie is a breakthrough, because it gives a lot of insight to mostly Western viewers on what life is like for Muslim families.

'Cafe Transit'
About a widow, defying her family's (or more precisely, brother-in-law's) wishes, running her late husband's roadside cafe. A mix of great food and feminine touch make the cafe a boom, giving big competition for her brother-in-law's own cafe. Reyhan, the story's hero, wins friends and hearts during the constant problems and opposition given by Nasser, the brother-in-law. The movie also gives insight to how life is in the Middle East.

More reviews to follow...

Friday, December 8, 2006

Back From The Dead

I took the chance that buying a car battery at a hyperstore would be a bit more expensive than a specialty store, but rather than waiting until Saturday and looking for the right store, I went ahead and bought a new car battery Wednesday night. So by Wednesday evening, the car was running smoothly again! It's alive!

So now, I have to take extra attention to everything; once again remembering the habits when I last used this car: check the radiator, check the brake fluid, check the battery; and for God's sake, clean the car once in a while. With all the years past, and a 30-year-old car, the car actually looks great when it's clean :D.

Work is going through a lot, a lot that I can't control. There is a lot of legal disputes (and corporate wrangling) going on in my primary business, and if all the parties involved don't play it smart and think long term, the business is doomed. Oh well, you can't win everything, can you? As usual, I'll just keep my back covered, and don't work control my life.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Car Trouble!

Yes, one of the caveats of owning a car that is literally as old as you, is that it needs constant attention, repair, and maintenance. I have an allocated budget (although limited) for these needs, and from that money, when nothing else needs immediate attention, I spend on fixing the less-vital parts (or in other words, less-attended parts) of the car. Right now I was in the middle of replacing some parts on the suspension.
Now, suddenly as it always is, the car has died on me. The battery apparently has lost its charge, and is not responding to recharging by the car itself. Short of trying to give it a boost of recharge from somewhere else, I'm pretty damn sure that the battery needs replacing.
So, after a lot of car pushing, tinkering and profanity, I think I better go look for that replacement battery soon.

On a side note...
The first time the car broke down, I was filling gas at one of the gas stations right under Semanggi interchange. It couldn't start after I filled it up, so I unceremoniously pushed the car to the side so as not to get in the way of the already-honking driver behind me. And can you imagine my reaction when nobody from the gas station helped me push the car aside? I mean, I was a customer 2 minutes ago, and I was in the way of them getting to their next customer. From experience, I knew the car just needed a little push to get back home, but even when I asked for help, nobody even moved (even when they were not doing anything). Maybe I should have sprayed money into their faces to get them going?
I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not, but I'm pretty sure that any time the car broke down or needed a push, someone was always there just to give it a push to get it off the street, and I always did the same when I saw a broken-down car in the middle of the street (well, when I'm on foot, anyway). It's common courtesy, I think. On the other hand, maybe I should really think whether I've done enough selfless deeds for my fellow man...

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Why Phi?

Today I'm sitting with Vira at Aksara Bookstore, doing what we used to do a long time ago: sit back at a free wi-fi place and browse the internet (blog, chat, what say you) on our laptops. Before we ate at Hoka Hoka Bento across the street before heading here (because the cafe was still closed anyway). Today was marked by me inadvertantly erasing 90% of Vira's phonebook on her mobile when I tried to sync it with her Powerbook (I still don't know what went wrong)...

Anyway, it's nice to be able to go on the Net and do stuff in an environment which is other than office or home...

Friday, November 24, 2006

Meebo Me!

Check out the new Meebo feature on the side bar, it's basically a shoutbox, but it's linked to the powerfull Meebo site, which brings IM to the web, and helps IM-deprived environments like my office stay in touch through Yahoo! Messenger and other IM clients. Let's see how it works lah...
Also new, is that this blog has migrated to the new Google-powered-and-linked system... but I have yet to find out what new features it has.

Since I'm reporting a lot of new stuff, I should report in my new room layout! Pictures coming soon, I have to take pictures with my new Motorola RAZR V3x, bought specially to dabble in the new 3G technologies coming online here. Alas, my only video call friend is Saskia, but I guess she's the only one that counts, anyway ;)

Other than these new points, everything else is still basically the same. Well... not really the same... but.. maybe I'll write some time later. I have to go to a "meeting".

Saturday, November 4, 2006

Fiddling (No, Not With The Instrument)

I'm Fiddling (as in tweaking, working it out, not playing a fiddle) with the Google Blogger widget; I must say the interface is much better than the previous Blogger widget that I used previously. Since this one is the one published by Google anyway, the look and feel is almost exactly the same as what I would get if I logged on to Blogger. 
So say goodbye to long logins on the web page (because of my slow internet connection); now I can just type my post on this widget and publish!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Redirect, Your Honor?

I wonder, does anybody remember this post?

Well... it's party still true. You never get what you really want... but you always get something better for you in the long run....

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Days Breezing Past

I used to write in this blog every day, then almost every day, then not really every day... days to weeks, almost to months (although I never let it go over a month)...
Yes, I've been busy as usual, and moments that previously were used to fill this blog, are now better spent with the loved one... not undermining this blog, and how it states things about me, but it seems that the theraputic effect of writing has finally kind of finished its phase (although I would think not entirely, never entirely), and I have moved to a new stage in life: stop writing and start living. Perhaps when I've got the 'living' part done, I can enter a new phase of my writing... I'll just have to get through this first.
It's the fasting season, yet it has gone by much, much faster than previous years. The level of activity at work really has risen; although I have one assistant to help me out with some specific tasks, it seems that my work still seems endless. I'm curious on how I pulled it of for the first 2 years on the job...

I am happy, and hopefully generally happy for a long time...

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Two Years Later...

October 6th, 2008.

I am writing this while I am waiting for my plane to take me back home. I always try to get to the airport early, but the airline I'm taking always manages to delay their flight by an hour at least. At least the airport has free wifi, so I've been browsing and chatting the hour away (and of course, writing this post), stuff I wouldn't be able to do on an average working day.

I really want to get back home soon because my wife is coming close to her delivery date; it's such a strange feeling! I can't describe it; a mix of anticipation and anxiety, excitement with a tad of fear that I'll screw things up. Oh well, I guess that's how all fathers-to-be would feel. Looking forward, I just hope I'm not too old to play basketball or something with my son when he's older (and I start greying hair). But something tells me that it's a girl; I've always wanted a daugther, being a man who loves women, hehe... but my wife insists that it's a boy. Well, whether it will be a boy or a girl, I'm pretty sure my enamour with gadgets will definitely pass on :D. God knows, the house is filled with stuff to play with...

Work is terrible, as always, but terrible in a sort of good way. The workloads and deadlines never end, but that's always good for a small company. Growth has levelled off a bit in Indonesia, but we're anticipating that with a few more tricks up our sleeve, and my parent company has asked us to assist forming similar companies in the other territories. Consulting comes with a price, of course, and it's a bit ironic that my own parent company is now my client in other countries. So... I think we have some comfortable targets to reach for 2009.

It's unfortunate that I had to cut my Lebaran holiday short for this trip, although it was only for a few days, but business is business, and not everything can be done on weekdays. We hammered most of the details over the weekend (over good food, of course) and this morning we spat out all the emails and communications needed to get the ball rolling, so the local guys can run it from there. I just miss my wife a lot; and as trying as the days have been during her pregnancy, at the end of the day I swallow my pride and hold her hand; and when she smiles back and holds my hand tighter, all becomes right with the world. I had time to shop here but I refrained myself from buying unecessary baby stuff, as the accumulation of whim purchases is already overwhelming, haha... but I'm sure I can justify some of the purchases to my wife :D.

Oh, there's the call for the plane. I'll SMS my wife on the plane and call the office driver to confirm picking me up at the airport...

[This fictious post is to commemorate 2 years of my working with this company, with its ups and downs, crazy work, and implications on all other aspects of my life. All that I am grateful for today.]

Monday, September 4, 2006

New Things, New Steps

Hey guys... it's been pretty busy, so I've had no time to update my blog (not to mention that my computer is still being used routinely for some office work). So.... here are some updates, as clear as they get, no funny words or long sentences, just pure crystal facts.

- cancelled the move to another company. Reason: didn't feel like the right thing to do, although I sort of forced myself onto the new challenge. Lesson: always, always listen to your heart. Outcome: I am still with my previous company, having turned down yet another prestigious job offer.
- have been keeping up with the Mac mailing lists more often lately. Reason: a new computer, finally! It's a black Macbook, and although it definitely needs more RAM, it is sufficiently powerful for producing some audio work for office business. Lesson: be grateful for what you've got. Outcome: I have renewed enthusiasm for the computer experience. The downside is, I have almost officially lost all my Windows troubleshooting skills, now that I am spoilt with Mac OS stability.
- we (Dad, Mom, and especially me) decided to buy back the old Corona that I used to drive in college. I have been mulling over buying a car (new or used) for at least a year, and the neighbor who bought the car from us sold it back for a good price, in a fairly better condition (hint: it's cold inside now). I will be using the car daily. Reason: there are two parts; first is cost saving (since between Saskia and myself, we use taxis a lot to go everywhere, and it's starting to pinch our pockets), and another step towards independence. Lesson: responsibility, personal finance management, future planning. It's better for me to keep the old thing going but to buy it outright (rather than pay 4 year installments on a new car), so when I do have the money, I spend it on a house or apartement (which value rises over time, as opposed to a car). Outcome: I have joined the fleet of commuters that go to and fro from the Sudirman area; luckily my office building is located where I don't have to go through the 3-in-1 area.

Things have been going so well lately, I must always remind myself to be grateful and say thanks to the Big Guy above looking out for me. We should all do that more often...

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Full Stop

I think I made a mistake... a huge mistake... and somehow, my inner voice always knew it. So now, finally, I have done what it takes to try to make it right. The mistake was taking another road in the first place, so now it's full stop, I'm going back home.

It's good to be home.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Security Problems, Or Problems Because Of Security?

I have been spending more and more time with Saskia, most often at her house, and where the whole family has practically welcomed my presence. I come often at any hour and the door is always open. But somehow it seems, the problem is not with coming, it's about leaving.
For a couple of times now, whenever I call for a cab to go home (which would be past midnight for average), the security guard who is in charge of the main portal to the complex always harrases me indirectly. At one point, the cab driver (for whom I am becoming a quick reguar) was denied entry, and he had to walk to Saskia's house to pick me up.
The next incident was when the taxi left the complex, the security guard actually came to the driver window and scolded me; "If you're visiting someone's house, be wise about the time! Now if you want to call a cab, you better walk to the portal." I gave him a cross, blank stare as a response. The person became more and more on my nerves, as it already felt he had bad sentiments towards me. But then still, I tried to think from his perspective, trying to analyze what I might of did wrong. So the next time I went home from Saskia's, Saskia asked one of the house helpers to wait for the taxi at the portal to make sure the taxi was allowed access. We thought this was the end of this.
Tonight, well, more precisely this morning, I arrived home at about 1.30 AM, and I am still up writing this post because I had to blow off a lot of steam because of my anger. Just when we thought there wasn't going to be a problem with the security guard, he harrased me AGAIN. "Hmm, this is becoming a habit. I thought I told you to walk to the portal when looking for a cab!" I gave him the same cross, blank stare, but my instincts were inches away from either giving him a lecture on human rights, ethics and courtesy or a good punch in the larynx (yes, it's meant to be painful). The cab driver, on the way to my home, mentioned that I am not the only one who orders cabs at that hour to that complex, and there have never been problems. If the security guard didn't want cabs coming into the complex, he should have been consistent and not open the portal for the cab, right? Finally, I found no fault in what I was doing, and that this was a deliberate act of prejudice or bad sentiment. I have been spending the last hour or so analyzing, all the while calming myself down, but also creating scenarios in my head on how best to handle this. Usually, I don't care about people like this, God knows we all have our share, but this guy is unavoidable. He must be handled.

What do you think, guys? I really hope I can find what made this guy act like that in the first place, but it has gone too far and therefore the reason is irrelevant. But do share your thoughts...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Long Days Ahead, But Counting...

Tomorrow is the start of the long weekend, and I mean really long. It starts from Thursday, which is Independence Day, up to Monday, which is Isra Mir'aj (I don't know if there is an English translation to that). The long-awaited spell of a pseudo-holiday is here! Unfortunately, my schedule is already filled here and there with some events that I have to attend, so I could not go out of town as previously planned (although I did not have time to plan anything anyway). But at least, the break from work (although I get the feeling that it will seep in bit by bit eventually) will be most welcome, and I can spend it however I wish (with consideration to the girlfriend, of course).
The great thing I am anticipating of an unplanned long weekend is that I can do anything just spontenaously, as opposed to the rigid programming and planning (especially scheduling! You should see how my meeting appointments line up every day) that you get on your average working day.
The long weekend will also leave Jakarta comparatively empty, as many people who did have time to plan their long weekend will be out of town, and thus decrease the amount of potential crowds I will meet anywhere at any given time.
A bit of the initial excitement that came with moving to the new job is back, because of some open talk with my new boss (and seeing him at his vunerable side), but still, some doubts are clouding my mind. To be frank, some other factors are suggestive toward my second thoughts, but... we'll just have to see how it goes, and make the most of it.

On another note, I have been challenged to do something rather big. Hope I can do it. It may become the first step of another career...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Second Thoughts

You know, I've been having second thoughts and misgivings about my new job... but I guess I have to see it through, as I once reprimanded a close friend not too long ago.
Step in for the first day, and see what happens.

In the meantime, my old office is squeezing out of me what they can before I leave, so I have been working like crazy....

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

Bad Deadlines

From its root words, "deadline" essentially means if you cross the line, you're dead. Now, deadlines, mind you, are part of everyday professional life. They are the most prominent features of the ongoing wheel of economy and business, where everybody wants everything done how, where, when, and most importantly by what time.

I always hated when people promised fulfilling deadlines to superiors when there are too many external factors to the equation, when they are not too sure their subordinates can help make that deadline, or whatever reason. Deadlines are made for performance and to push performance, but I don't think deadlines are meant to leave out maintaining the long term performance.
The current business scene moves at such a pace where things often go too fast for the people actually doing the work, and thus having to stay back at the office (or any other place of work) toiling the hours away.

It's not that I don't like deadlines; they are necessary milestones to measure your performance and accomplishments.... but they are, at times, unnecessarily issued as well.

Here's hoping the deadline met meant something.

Monday, August 7, 2006


I don't know why, but my temper has been running a bit high as of late. I'm always touchy, and the smallest things seem to irritate me.
Phone calls are irritating me, because it's always someone who wants something. As usual, the sound of car horns and the like get on my nerves as well. Today, going down for lunch, I was in the lift with 3 other guys. My apparently vivid imagination, poisoned with malice, quickly imagined beating up all 3 guys in the lift, complete with where I would hit them, how, and how I would tackle their resistance. I probably am going a wee bit loony...

It's just as well I guess, at least I have someone who can calm me down (or remind me that I'm not that crazy?)

Sunday, August 6, 2006

Translation Sunday

Today I am helping out Citra with some translations for one of his website projects, and I just finished what could possibly be the last of the documents needed to be translated. What a relief! I have been working from about 10 AM non-stop (well, not really non-stop...), and only stopping to have a late lunch at 3 PM. Lunch was also just a delivery from McDonald's, not because we were so busy, but more to the fact that we were too lazy to step outside the house.

So now Citra is uploading the stuff, and I'm back to fooling around with the Dashblog widget...

Saturday, August 5, 2006

Testing, 1-2-3

I am sending this post as a test, to try out the new wonderful world of Dashboard Widgets (running on Mac OS X). Yes, I know, widgets have been around for at least a year, but I only had the opportunity to try out the features now.
This post was made by the Dashblog widget. Let's see how it fares.

Friday, August 4, 2006

Under Duress

I guess it goes without saying that a lot has happened the past few weeks, making me unable to post anything here; my office time is limited, and my time afterwards is spent away from the computer.
Only this morning, I can sit down, relaxed, in front of the computer, and try to get some thoughts out to describe the missing logs from this media.

It's such an amazing feeling to be going out with somebody steady again, especially after so long in personal limbo, and getting used to doing everything myself. It has taken some adjustments for both of us, especially during these first weeks, that we actually had a partner at all! When you're used to thinking for one, now you think for two, and these are just for mundane things like going to the supermarket or something. But I'm otherwise happy, now that I have someone I can always share my thoughts with, and hold my hand whenever I need.

I just discovered something very essential about this blog, and about me... apparently, I always have this subconcious feeling that I should not spread good news as excitedly as I would, because it would somehow be jinxed (and believe me, it has happened several times, including my other situation at work). That's partly why this blog rarely displays good news.

Now here's the situation at work. My future boss, it seems, is under pressure. He, as an expatriate brought in to help out with a new division at my new office, assumingly promised all sorts of things and targets for this division, and under pressure to deliver very fast. This has caused the pressure to be distributed to all partners involved in the launch project (including my current office), when actually things cannot happen that fast. Feet were stepped on, tempers raged, and the formerly anticipating spirit of my company and the partners behind us decreased and became pragmatic. The problem's not over yet, and instead of coming in and sitting down with my future boss and telling him how it's supposed to be done, I'm giving him a harsh reality instead, seeing all his deadlines fly past without anything done. Well, that's how stubborn he apparently is, haha...

There is something else new in my life, other than the girlfriend and the coming new job... but I'll elaborate on that later at a better opportunity. Today, I have to attend 2 weddings!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Keep An Eye Out For...

... a band called Private Harmony. Released by the local Warner Music office.

Some might say that they're the Indonesian version of the various incarnations of Ben Folds Five/Ben Folds, but there's a difference between imitating and emulating. Listening to them, you get to hear what the music would sound like if Ben Folds had an Indonesian background. The songs are definitely Indonesian (as they are all in Bahasa Indonesia), but the piano-playing is most definitely Ben Folds, along with the backing vocals trademark of the band emulated.
But even more than that, you can feel the songs, and not just hear them as a mere translations of Ben Folds musical tendencies.
The entire album speaks tribute to Ben Folds, unavoidable and obvious, but stands on its own as well. Actually, the choice to emulate Ben Folds music already says something about them... let's see where they go on the next album, if it does come out. Unfortunately, this kind of music does not have a wide audience in Indonesia...

On a lighter note, I wonder what they would be like when actually singing Ben Folds covers!

Sunday, July 9, 2006

That Person Is Gone, Finally (So Far)

For the past few months, I have been acquainted, to a certain person which I'd rather not be named, not even a description of attributions like gender, background, or anything else other than any information related to what I want to tell.

To cut a long story short, this person works in a sales/marketing capacity for a local SMS platform provider, who has been pushing for a project involving one of the more notable artists under my record label. At first, when the artist needed publicity and an interesting program to work with, I was welcome to the ideas said person presented, and often helped said person with the concepts and ideas needed to push the project through.
Down the line, the artist certainly didn't need the publicity anymore, and thus the program has been losing value to me day by day; all the while, this person still pushed, and sometimes just plainly befriended me, to the point that I'd be uncomfortable if I declined the program. Eventually, I had to sit down with the artist and balance the benefits and costs of the program, and we agreed that the program has imbalanced benefits towards the provider, and thus we declined.

At one point, this person was contacting me every day, inviting for lunch or dinner, or dropping by the office for a friendly visit, under the ruse of real friendship; once I struck down the program, said person has practically disappeared.

I might be a bit mean or stiff, but what I have never appreciated was the fact that people want to use me. This person was overall a nice person, yet I am not sorry said person is gone. Hope you learn your lesson.

Major Changes

That's it, it's done, and no turning back. The benefits and the risks, although not identified entirely, are accepted. I am taking the jump...

So, for dear readers of this blog, some of you might know that I have been working in a music company since the start of this blog (and almost always single, but that's another matter...)... now the time has come for an unprecedented change. I will be moving to another company in at least 2 months' time, into the burgeoning telecoms industry. My main focal point of the work will remain music, but I will be learning new stuff, new technology, new corporate cultures in a new environment. It's exciting for me to the point I am nervous and still questioning my decision (as I always do). But if experience speaks true, my initial gut feeling will be the one that I follow, even with high indecision. It's done; I've submitted my resignation letter and negotiated my exit terms, and apparently my move is being talked about by more people than I thought.

Also, there is a special person who has been exclusively taking up a lot of my time :), one of the reasons why I haven't been writing as often as I did lately (other than the fact that work has been hell, and managing my schedules has been a balancing act).

I have come to the point that new choices may not be for the better, but as always, for me, new experiences are always beneficial. Growing and learning is my number one goal, and I hope this takes me onward...

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Take A Deep Breath, And...

Here we go.
Get ready for the jump of a lifetime.
I don't know what I'm going to face, but that's common I guess when you go into new territory.

Wish me luck.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Navigating Rockets

On most spacecraft, whether it be real or fictitious, usually the ones with more practical or current (not imaginative) propulsion systems, like thermo-combustion rockets and the like, have small rockets around the spacecraft's body. These are for controlling the craft's movements, like pitch and yaw, doing slight turns, and so on, other than the usually uni-directional larger engine. Whereas airplanes can use fins and aerofoils to control movement, the dead of space has no air, thus any minute movements required by the spacecraft is done my these rockets. I'd call them navigating rockets.
How they work, basically, is releasing short bursts of energy to push the spacecraft into the desired position or direction.

And here's something totally unrelated.

The job so far has been great, with a great potential to grow. Business is good, although I need to do more backflips and somersaults to make next year's plan... I have someone I can depend on also now. And now... there is a job offer on the table. The offer is not mind-boggling, but it is significant enough. And Krayola's album is set to release by August; as we will be signing the contract shortly.

The last time this much potential change happened to me was when I started this blog.... a new day at a new job, fresh from shutting down my old office, and painfully fresh of the memory of break-up.

So, does change come in short bursts of energy, you think? Is life, when always pushed by a uni-directional thrust engine, guided by navigating rockets activated when needed?

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Best Birthday Present EVER!

No, not the pizza from Mom, brought early in the morning by my Mom and Dad; although it means a lot and tastes good too!
Not the blueberry cheesecake from Alfa, although it is a testament of our long-standing friendship...
Not even the birthday wishes from friends, although they mean a lot also...

hm... and not even the CD case you gave me! Although I love it! It's just that the color doesn't go well with my other stuff.

just you.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Thank You

Thank you.

(hope you're reading this.)

Talking with you helps. A lot. And not just about work.

Confusion Is A Lonely Moment

Unexpectedly, although according to schedule, I came home "early" today. At precisely 6.38 PM I was home, and even got to sleep a bit before delving into the book I have been reading (a moderate science-fiction book I bought second-hand). Yet through the minutes between asleep and awake, the full force of my confusion comes into light.

Before me lies a choice. A better oppotunity, so to speak; currently not really quantifiable, but definitely good. On the other hand, there is the current situation, which is not so bad. Good also, actually, and a loosely-related item at work has certainly got me excited a bit (although still disbelieving). Both choices ostensibly will change my life, as most of my major decisions do, but with differing directions, and not entirely differing, either.

The sacrifices that come with the choices are significant, also, so are the risks. All elements that apparently I endure and enjoy, as I always unconsciously pick the harder roads to take (of course, the ones that bring the most benefits and lessons).

It's a good problem, a problem that a lot of people would only dream of; yet it remains a problem that I can't seem to solve on my own. I am somehow not comfortable relying on my heart, instinct and experience to choose an outcome; as I often do, I usually consult my trusted friends and colleagues for honest opinions.

But somehow, I can't. So, today, confusion is a lonely moment... and I lament the fact that I am sad because of good tidings.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Soho Again

I am sitting at Soho yet again, with Vira, where we are typing away on our laptops after a moderately arduous session at the gym (more for Vira, I think). The excersize, although probably still not optimal, was refreshing after many days of overworking and less sleep afterwards. I am still feeling stressed out, but I'll just see on how I can handle the stress bit by bit, day by day, by not taking too much depth into it (while not avoiding it entirely).
The issues of work and personal life are actually manageable, but every time I hear a stupid motorcycle horn or unnecessary car horn go off, a spark goes off in me that gets me in the wrong mood all the time. I am trying to manage that, but of course, the usual set of expletives need to be produced before tension release is possible.

I am finding that the band is slowly becoming into something serious, at least for me, and it's a bit difficult to pool the band together into a consensus on what needs to be done. At least we have a general direction on where to go, and the August gig would be something to work towards. There is still a lot of homework to do, but well, as they say, handle big problems step by step.

I'm just glad that I have something more to smile about, lately :).

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Should I Stop For A While?

Even the damn motorcycle horns and the stupid doorbell that rings inseccantly all day get to me now. In the Kemang and Mampang area, a lot of those sate sellers traded in their voices or wooden bells for a battery-powered buzzer of sorts. Traditionally, they would just yell their commodity while pushing their wheelbarrow around (where they store everything they need to cook), but now, it's either not loud enough, or they just simply became lazy about yelling all the time. So now, they attract attention (and wrath) by pressing that buzzer every so often, guaranteeing attention from a 200 m radius. And it drives me crazy.

Since the receptionist at the office left, they installed an additional thumbprint lock on the outer door, which had a doorbell function, and there would be an alarm if the door was left open for more than 1 or 2 minutes. Now, the doorbell sound itself is very annoying, not to mention the fact that it's either me or Okta (in the cubicle next to my office room) who opens the door for whoever comes. I really hate it. The doorbell sound has a sort of forced attention-getter property to it, and I simply cannot ignore it. I have to go to the source and make it shut up somehow. Now get this - the doorbell can hardly be heard from outside the outer door, making a lot of the stupider guests press the doorbell more often without any sort of politeness. This gets me on my nerves even more.
Then, if some idiot leaves the door open on the spring-hinge, the alarm will go off. Now when the doorbell, as annoying as it is, is still a two-note lower frequency sound... the alarm is a high-pitched repetitive sound! And to add to that, the lock mechanism for the door is a bit faulty, so at times the lock just simply doesn't work and the door alarm goes off on and on and on until somebody comes and tries to fix it. Here's the punchline: as my office is nearest to the door, the speakers for this unhuman contraption are right next to me (well... about 2 metres from my door). I swear the speakers are mounted in my direction or something, because it certainly feels that way. Now imagine trying to have a conversation on telephone or typing some document that needs concentration while the stupid alarm goes at least once every 10 minutes!

When I am able to escape the office, I have to face those loud motorcycle horns, those car alarms, those purposely loud mufflers (notice the contradiction in terms), thus I can never escape the sounds that make my brain so unsynchronized.

And I bet the dear readers of this blog have read how crazy work has been the past few weeks... thus... I must be going out of my mind as we speak. Well, almost, and I need to do something about it quick. Work is neverending, so I'll have to just drop everything and try to alleviate this stress somehow. It's either a holiday, or I need to invest some disciplined time to curing the stress step by step. No, not dining out anymore. Yoga, perhaps? Midnight bike rides would be nice... if I didn't have to worry about the random drivers that roam the roads of Jakarta... playing music? It's a job now! Well, almost...

Gym helps, and the basketball sessions help.. but there needs to be something more. Maybe more blog writing? More purposeful, scheduled blog writing? I think that's the main difference between now and a few months before...

So here I am again :).

Friday, June 2, 2006

Finally, On The Curb Again

Phew! What a ride.

I have been running on the highway, dodging cars, buses and motorcycles, trying to outrun or outmanouver vehicles larger than me, sometimes running in line, sometimes cutting their path, and more often getting out of the way. I'm not what you call unscathed; I'm a bit bruised here and there, my mind is still racing at one moment, sitting still at the next; but now I've reached a temporary destination for a breather. I'm at the bus stop, on the curb. Phew...

The past week has been really crazy, I was practically out of the office for 4 days out of 5, thus automatically putting any email or electronic-based work on the backburner. Also, I have a boss who often sends out instructions and orders without really thinking, and I have to push back for a more rational timeline. Even so, some of my work is spilling over to the weekend, and I'm sure when my boss is back from HK on Monday, he'll be sending out another salvo of instructions. I mean, it's totally ok, it's part of the job, but because some of the orders and deadlines are quite impossible, it takes up wasted time and energy to shoot the orders down or manage them into more comprehensible products. And... it's always like this.

I can't afford to slack one second, I know. The sales targets for this year and next year are crazy; but it doesn't mean I have to do all of this by myself, either. It's not the job or the objective, it's the task management and time scheduling. The work has reached a point where it's getting slow because I really don't have the time to take care of everything.

I reached my requested targets, and I need to move to a higher level to reach my remaining targets. So...

Anyone interested in a job?

Saturday, May 27, 2006

No Pause To Contemplate

Now, one of my regional superiors just had to inform me on the last minute that they would be coming down to Jakarta for a visit next week, and that they want to meet with my clients... now well, the last week was a long weekend from Thursday, and so I had to manage what I can during the short week, not to mention fit one week's work in 3 days. My boss was on my case for not getting the meetings fixed quickly, but what can I say? The people I am setting up meetings with are VPs and GMs, and they are not usually ready for last minute meetings, however important the counterparts are. It's all about time management. Anyway, I had succeded in setting up the meetings with time to spare...

The short work week was filled with a lot of important meetings and decisions, so it really tired me out; but Tuesday I still went for my regular basketball session (I think I want to make it twice a week) and Wednesday there was a late-night meeting at Kemang (I mean really late, ending at 11 PM)...

On Thursday I went on a long overdue (like many things lately) trip to Kelapa Gading with Pitra, and we just wandered about the enormous mall there (we didn't even go to the upper floors except the CD store, where I found another Ben Folds CD) and had lunch at a Sundanese restaurant... and of course a sesion of pool. As we were practically tired out, we headed back to familiar territory at dusk, also because Pitra had to go to the office (yes, on a holiday), and I had to show up for Anggun's concert.

To say the least, Anggun's concert was absolutely entertaining. She is one of the most beautiful and talented actresses from Indonesia; I don't think any other local artist is up to par with her; but then again, she did grow and learn a lot overseas, whereas artists here only have those stupid music reality shows to compare with (no offense, people of the media..).

Friday was offically an office holiday, although it came out of our annual leave; so I declined and went to the office Friday morning, at 9 AM as usual, and caught up on some work until about 2 AM. Some of my other office friends came to the office as well (although not doing any work), and eventually we went and watched X-Men 3 in the afternoon. Great movie by the way, but I missed the last scene after the credits (only read about it afterwards). There was an invitation to the SCTV Music Awards later that night, but despite coming for the free food before the show, we promptly left the show when it was about to start as we did not get any seats (and the show itself did not have an interesting line-up). Needless to say, the show was a far cry from Anggun's concert the night before. Leaving JCC at 9 AM, I caught up with Sacha at her place where we eventually joined Saskia and her friend at Kemang.... and that's where we got trapped by the pouring rain until about 1 AM.

Saturday was another case of 'no pause'. I went to the gym at about 10 AM, where Sacha was supposed to join (but couldn't wake up because she slept at the same hour I did), and I worked out until 12 and walked around Plaza Indonesia (and inadvertantly buying yet another CD, this time a special 2 CD 1 DVD pack of Dave Matthews band performing live). I went to the legendary Warung Sekartaji restaurant near my home at about 1 PM, waiting for Oettie, who showed up at about 2 PM. I was going to pitch one of my artists to perform on her event, but when she listened to Krayola's songs, she preferred us! So, now we have our first gig in place, without the album out yet. Hopefully we can give her her money's worth.
So later that day, me, Saskia and Lia went to a high-school event where a client opened a stand there; I wanted to observe... and boy, was that the wrong decision. Standing in line with hundreds of overdressed, noisy pre-teens and teens really made us feel old, hahaha... I was totally in shock. We quickly got out of there and went to Warung Apresiasi after dinner, where Oracle was going to play (in a refreshingly sedate environment compared to the high-school event).

So today comes the pause, finally... I don't think I want to go anywhere today.... I just want to lie down or sit around the house, before another stupendously busy week...

Now Hear This!

Here's a link to a sample of Krayola's music (use it wisely, folks). And in case you don't know, I play bass and some guitars for the songs.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Long Overdue EP

Finally, after almost 6 months of sporadic work, meetings, personell changes and personal crises, the 7-song EP by Krayola is complete and ready for distribution. Personally, I'd like to call it The Long Overdue EP, because it took a while getting here, especially for the more senior members of the band. Now, we just have to send the CD master to our label and set up a meeting to talk about the launch and marketing plans.

On the other hand, this is the halfway mark. Now we have to get back to our practice sessions and whip ourselves back into shape so we can support the album with a proper number of appearances (not to mention, hopefully, getting more paid gigs).

Wish us luck!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Hmph... I pulled two muscles on my morning gym session, one in my chest, one in my thigh, which, as usual, I did nothing about. The pain anyway was only felt at the basketball session later yesterday, when it hurt when I ran and, unfortunately, when I tried to shoot the ball. Thankfully, almost all shots I made during the game made their way to the basket properly (four out of five), and the rest of the game I spent on guard. I am still trying to catch up with my breath, and now vital parts of my body for playing basketball... so when the first game was up, I stopped, especially when I felt I really pulled my chest muscle on my last shoot (it went in, anyway...). Note to self: better warm-ups next time.

So now I am half-limping and my chest hurts at akward moments like when I pick up my ever-heavy bag (at the minimum I am always carrying my 2-3 kg laptop), but oh well... as with other types of pain, it takes time to heal (and sometimes a bit of medicine).

On other notes... Vira said that she thinks you can 'choose' who you like.... I couldn't beg to differ more. She's half right, anyway, if I read her correctly. You may not be able to choose on who you have a crush with and/or fall in love with, but you can choose how you react to it. I've been down this road so many times I think I know when to act and when not to. Or well at least, I'd like to think so.

Anyhow, I think it's time to find a more lasting bit of medicine for myself, rather than eat chocolate all the time, to go with the time going by. Although my body is aching and tired, the basketball court is a welcome substitute. I never realised how much I loved playing until I stepped on the court again.

Monday, May 15, 2006

On A Roll

Yeah, yet again, I have been missing from the blog world. Let's see if I can sum up the last two weeks in one post:

The first week of May was filled with meeting upon meeting upon meeting, because of some tight deadlines of a few key projects at the office; not to mention preparing to go to Bangkok for the weekend to watch MTV Asia Awards with a contest winner. There was a show of one of the artists under our label on Thursday night, so that night we all went to F Bar at Plaza EX until really late. Saturday morning was the trip to Bangkok, eventless strolling in Siam Centre and the ever-more-boring MTV Asia Awards at night; we didn't have time to go anywhere Sunday morning because no stores were open yet anyway and we had a 1 PM flight.
Apparently the flight was delayed for 2 hours to 3 PM (to our dismay...) and we spent a unmemorable afternoon in the Bangkok Airport transit lounge eating an even more undesirable lunch (the company was ok, though).

The week after was filled with more and more meetings, still because of the tight deadlines; but the weekend was highlighted by a trip to Bandung! It was Alfa's wedding, and I brought in tow Yosi and Lia from the office also, together with Sacha and Coki. The wedding reception itself was, um, alternative, to say the least; perhaps because it was directed more to the newlywed's friends, rather than one of those proper wedding receptions. The next day we toured around Bandung (well, more like the clothing distros) and went back to Jakarta at 6 PM...

and now, I am so damn tired, with still so much work to do.... I may be on a roll or something. Spring roll, perhaps? Or sushi roll?

Sunday, April 30, 2006

My PersonalDNA Test

This is the result of one of those online tests, available here. I'm sure a lot would find it pretty accurate.

You are a Considerate Builder.

about you
You are a Builder
# You are detail-oriented, cautious, and practical, making you a BUILDER.
# You are excellent at focusing on the concrete, functional elements of things, so you're good at making things happen.
# Pursuing novel ways of doing things helps you to be efficient.
# You're great to have on a team, as you understand how things work and don't let your ego get in the way.
# You're perceptive, down-to-earth, and realistic.
# You don't see a need to commit to a set routine or schedule—you'd rather improvise a little.
# Although you may doubt yourself sometimes, you have the skills and the curiosity to pursue broader adventures.
# You like to consider a lot of information before making big decisions, and you think about that information in realistic, thorough ways.
# You don't concern yourself with flashy styles or surface appearances—you're far too sensible for that.
# You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

If you want to be different:
# Think more abstractly about things without abandoning your valuable sensibility.
how you relate to others

You are Considerate
# You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.
# value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.
# You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.
# Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you're somewhat shy and reserved at times.
# Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.
# Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people's behavior.
# You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.
# Your close friends know you as a good listener.
# You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

If you want to be different:
# Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!

Your Personality Chart

This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Each bar indicates the percentage of test takers who entered a lower value for that trait than you did. For example, if Confidence is at 80, that means that 80% of people entered lower values for confidence questions than you did. Based on a sample of 30,000 users. Click here to learn more about the traits.


Low / High

Low / High

Low / High

Low / High
Trust in others

Low / High

Low / High

Low / High

Low / High

Low / High
Attention to style

Low / High

Low / High

Imaginative / Earthy

Functional / Aesthetic

Holding Back The Years

Holding back the years,
Thinking of the fear I’ve had for so long.
When somebody hears,
Listen to the fear that’s gone.
Strangled by the wishes of pater,
Hoping for the arm of mater,
Get to me sooner or later,

Nothing ever could, yeah.
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on.

Chance for me to escape from all I know.
Holding back the tears.
There’s nothing here has grown.
I’ve wasted all my tears,
Wasted all those years.
Nothing had the chance to be good,

Nothing ever could, yeah.
I’ll keep holding on,

I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on
So tight.

[Simply Red]

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Every Day

Every day, I take any random thought or memory currently in the "Hurt" box, analyze it, ponder it, and extract any meaning or information from it, then I put it into the "Accepted Reality" box. Every day numerous constant whispers of wishes, dreams, and regrets run through my mind, and are simply stored for later processing.
Every day I say to myself, I learn from what I experience, no matter what the outcome.

Then why is the feeling the same?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Running, Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Treading on the treadmill, going slowly, and going a little faster until I reach the time limit, then slow down a bit... then the sit-up machine. Push some sit-ups until my stomach hurts, stop for a while, then start all over again until I'm satisfied.
Then it's the cross-trainer... although I'm lately too often out of breath for that... but I do it anyway, as far as I can... next, it's off to the... whatchamacallits, the things for working your thigh muscles. Yeah that. Also till my thighs hurt a bit. Don't want to work on my lower legs, the muscle there is already a bit bulging due to my mountain-hiking years.
Then it's off to the.. um, dunno what it's called either. It's for working on your upper body muscles, including the arms. I'm not working to lift weights, but more to frequency, so I just use the 10 kgs and do the same thing... push until it hurts.

When actually, I'm trying to push the hurt out.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Over The Weekend

We were supposed to have a practice session on Saturday; but unfortunately David couldn't make it at all that day, and I was sleepy because Sacha and Yadi stayed over and we talked until 3 AM. Me and Sacha had so much fun looking at Yadi's reaction to my "startling revelations", hahaha... but at least I have come to terms of telling the truth to my best friend. Anyhow, it's all in the past now...
So me, Eriz and Riri just hung about the house playing guitars, and talking about the band; there was much that I would want to do with the arrangement of the songs, but since the songs are practically done, I didn't know what else to do with the material anyway. I'll just have to insert my ideals into the new songs we'll be writing...
I had dinner with Pitra at PIM 2 (it was either roadside stall or credit-card enabled restaurant, considering the date...) and then we played pool until we dropped... it was fun, and I won most of the games (out of sheer chance, I think...).
Sunday morning Citra came over so we could start work on the website he was working on; he enlisted my help to do the translations... and we worked until about 5 PM, when we took a break. Citra was going to a wedding, and Lia asked me to join her at EX, so I joined, and we played UNO with a mix of old and new friends (including a totally gorgeous girl!) until 10 PM, where I returned home (and the totally gorgeous girl was nice enough to drive by) to work until 1.30 AM...

So now, I'm so damn sleepy...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Monday, April 17, 2006

Remember Thy Namesake

Not coincidentally, my real name in Sanskrit means "hero", thus the unshakable hero complex I have. And notice that the best superheroes in comics tend to be the ones who work alone?

On the other hand, I must remember the namesake of this blog... to get back on track.

Hello, world...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

In Memoriam: A Happy Ending

So, once again, my personal maxim in life is proven once again: you never get what you really want.

So be it. Life goes on, anyway...

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Everything Is 'Simpler'

I have finally resolved one of my long-standing problems; the outcome not really to my needs and expectations, but the matter is resolved nevertheless. So here I am, back on the digital journey into my mind.

Loving in vain must be my specialty...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Nearing The Home Stretch

As it might be obvious in a couple of later posts, playing music is becoming increasingly more important to me; I don't care if it does not result in a certain financial gain yet (as I am what you would say, still an amateur), but at least I get to make and play music, and have something to show for. Having something to show for is apparently very important to me, after all these years working in an industry where nobody really understands what it is and what I do, and never being able to talk about work with friends.

Perhaps it's the recognition? The acknowledgement? I will not become a hippocrite and deny that I do not need those as a man with a supposedly healthier ego, but as I have done often before, I won't let it get the best of me. Pride is one of the fiercest emotions felt by man, and also the most insignificant; albeit often confused with honor.

Anyway, it's always nice to not have to talk about work and still have something interesting to talk about, with it not being sports or current events. Anybody can talk about that.

The recording session is almost done, but I think the mixing is still far off; and I think a couple of vocal takes and guitar fills need to be redone. Well, at least there's no argument about the arrangements anymore, so it's just a matter of time. Wish us luck!

Sunday, April 2, 2006

One-Month Furlough

Hello, blog, long time no write.

First of all, it's been really busy at the office. A lot of projects and meetings, and I'm trying to set up shorter deadlines for my work, thus more work for me. All these meetings makes catching up with the paperwork difficult.
Also, I was down and out for a week, with laryngitis. Got 3 days leave courtesy of the doctor (and the virus) and slept through all 3 days... my throat has not been the same since.
Bought a MIDI-to-USB interface which was apparently useless on my Mac (unless I buy a self-powered MIDI controller)... well, I'll figure out something, as I do think this converter still will come to use depending on my future computer configuration.
Went to Bogor again to work on Krayola's master recording... I think we still have a couple sessions to go before we're finished, but it's moving along perfectly.
I had no time to update my blog at the office, and once I reached home, I was too tired to make a posting here. Believe me, it's been a long month...

Of course... just to mention here, and never more... my life has suddenly become ultimately more complicated (although Sacha says that my life has always been complicated). Well... complications in life have not always been a bad thing, so I'm still smiling, as wide as ever...

Thursday, March 2, 2006

The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test

Der Kommandant
Achtung! You are 38% brainwashworthy, 59% antitolerant, and 61% blindly patriotic
Opportunistic, patriotic to a fault, and not so fond of people who aren't just like you, you are like a Nazi General. Back in Germany in the 1940's, you would have been at the top of the asshole list. Not for Nazism, necessarily, but for your own sick, twisted values. Then, out of superior intelligence (relative to other Nazis, that is), you would've climbed to the top.

Conclusion: you would have been a Nazi, and most likely would have served them well.

- new test, it rules, take it -
The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 52% on brainwashworthy
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 87% on antitolerant
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 82% on patriotic
Link: The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Wednesday, March 1, 2006


Bu Dosen just threw a baseball bat at me! Well... baseball, schmazeball, dunno what it was, but it hurt! Gotta do something to relieve the pain!

Apparently, this "baseball" thing has been going around the blog world for some time, like those stupid chain emails that give you bad luck if you don't send them within a certain period or to X many people. That really eats up the internet's bandwidth everywhere. Well, like this one, once in a while comes a chain mail (or something like it) which is interesting to share, or in this case, write about.

I'm supposed to write down five of my weird habits (only 5?) and pass the bar along to others... this is interesting! So here goes:

1. Anyone close to me knows, that I eat chilli like a vampire on bloodlust. The usual portion of hot sauce doesn't do it for me, I have to get the hottest thing available, anywhere. It's like willful torture to my tounge. There was a time where I travelled alone for 2 weeks in Japan, and since the closest thing generally available in Japan is wasabi (which is another sensation altogether), I had to bring along my own bottle of Tabasco everywhere I ate. I used up the whole bottle in the 2 weeks there, and actually bought a new one during the last 2 days. Another time, a friend dared me to eat the hottest dish at Beppu Menka, where they serve dishes with names like "Cooking Pot Hell" and with different levels of spiciness, from 2 chilli to 8 chilli; and the dare was 8 chilli, of course. Naturally, I won the bet but not after they took my picture sweating all over but ultimately enjoying the meal! I won't even tell you about the time I was a semi-finalist in a spicy baso eating contest... So if you come to my place, you'd find an assortment of chilli-based spices... from the bottled hot sauce, the Tabasco, to the chilli powder...

2. I pick my nose a lot, sometimes not even realizing it. I think it runs in the family because a lot of my cousins have the same problem. And here's the groce part... when I was still about 6 or 7, I had a habit of sticking the mucus to the wall behind the sofa in the TV room... hence making a nice wall decoration. When my mother finally noticed, she was too amazed to be angry... I wonder, did they have to tear that wall down once we left that house?

3. I fart like a 20-ton truck in overdrive uphill, when the moment comes. With as much noise as the airhorn, too. I won't get into any details here, I think you all get the point :) Keep a safe distance! Oh yeah, this also runs in the family...

4. I count everything that can be counted! I say the numbers of the floors I pass on the lift in my head, and generally tend to never lose count in any occasion. But I think I've toned this down somewhat... the only thing I have not been able to get rid of is the lift-counting. Any proper sequence of numbers, I would recite in my head, and often get slightly annoyed when the floor number jumps to 14 after 12. It's just not right!

5. Forgetting about fridge contents. OK so I put something in the fridge for eating later.... much later. That's if I remember. I never got used to checking the fridge contents, because I always assumed that food stored there would be fresh forever... so now it's better that I have a smaller fridge, so I hardly ever forget to check the contents... erm... hey, how long has that cake been there? Still tastes okay... a bit stiff though, the fridge must of sucked all the moist out... oh, that's bad?

Hahaha! I enjoyed that one, and I really hope the dear readers of this blog will be totally grossed out. Too bad I only have to write about 5, so I had to only put a few highliters there...

So now, I'll be throwing the "bat" to Cookie, Good Girl, Chibi, Macfreak, Miund and Shoe Cat. Take that!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Statistics Must Be An Illusion As Well

Yes... as the title reads, statistics must be an illusion as well.
Why are there statistics, what are they by definition?
Statistics is a collection of numbers collerated to any fact, for instance point averages, assists and defences; population numbers, percentages of this and that; and for a larger data pool, the statistics are often derived from a random sample pool that is only part of the greater data pool (to save time; with it's own calculations of deviation).
Hence... with deviation, comes error.... and probable mistakes.

Statistics say... 90% of the Indonesian population is Muslim. If that is the fact, why are 90% of all the girls I find interesting Christian??

Go figure.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Over-ripe Banana In My Hand

So, here I sit, in front of my computer, over-ripe banana in my hand, one of two that I will be eating for breakfast. I woke up at about 7 AM this morning, after going to bed at 1 AM, but went to sleep again soon after.... only waking up again at 9 AM.
The last two hours of stolen sleep were a bit uneasy, but not the 'bad' uneasy, more to anxious.

Not anxious, excited.

For the first time in weeks, I'm excited to start this new day, and the days after. Go figure!
Let's hope Macfreak can make it to my place tomorrow to install some new software on this deceript Mac, so I can fill it with new life again... like I am filling myself...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


What I've kept with me
And what I've thrown away
And where the hell I've ended up
On this glary random day
Were the things I really cared about
Just left along the way
For being too pent up and proud

Woke up way too late
Feeling hung over and old
And the sun was shining bright
And I walked barefoot down the road
Started thinkin' about my old man
It seems that all men
Wanna get into a car and go

Here I stand--sad & free
I can't cry and I can't see
What I've done
God...What have I done

So don't you know I'm numb, man
No I don't feel a thing at all
Cause its all smiles & business these days
and I am indifferent to the loss
I've faith that there's a soul somewhere
whose leading me around
I wonder if she knows
Which way is down...

Here I stand--sad & free
I can't cry and I can't see
What I've done
God...What have I done

I poured my heart out
I poured my heart out
it evaporated...see?

Blind man on a canyon's edge
of a panoramic scene
Or maybe I'm a kite
That's flying high & random
Dangling a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room
Head on a stranger's knee
I'm sure back home
They think I've lost my mind

[Ben Folds Five]

Friday, February 17, 2006

Hari Ini, Dan Bukan Cuma Hari Ini

Matahari dan bulan berlalu bergantian beralihan
Namun aku hanya bisa duduk di sini

memikirkanmu -
dan merindukanmu

dan berpikir, mengapa cintaku menjadi racun

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

[U2; Grammy 2006 Song Of The Year]

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The End Of An Era

Today, I headed to the bank this morning to close an account.
Not just any account, but a special bank account, which was under my name, and used for my old company's account. The company had closed down its Jakarta office in 2004, on the day I left, but we left the account open to receive any incoming payments for the sale of office inventory. Yes, we had to sell everything, and anything that couldn't be sold, was given away.
To this date there is still a lot of stuff from that office, which could not be sold, and thus HQ decided to write off that inventory (which includes a really big photocopy machine), as I'm pretty sure the depreciation of those objects had reached zero anyway.

So, the office that taught me almost everything I needed for my current job, taught me life in Jakarta, and contributed a large part of my adult education, has finally come to rest. So from this day, it will only be a memory...

Three cheers for the friends, hope that the bonds we share do not die with the office...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Lost Reason

Not this thought again,
it's been circling through my mind
For ages and yesterday
It left me blind

It's though I had lost movement, had lost reason
Feeling everything but the season
Yet another day comes...

Without feeling, without due,
Without smiles, and without you

Say what you want to me,
I cannot hear it anymore
The steps that you will make today
Can't replace the steps before

I know that I can't forget, but I'll just live with it
Frame you in my heart a bit
But until the new day comes... it will be-

Without feeling, without due,
Without smiles, and without you

[Joe Barry]

Monday, February 13, 2006

Overrated Occasion

Why is Valentine's seemingly important?
As has been discussed and elaborated many times over, Valentine's Day, which may have had benign origins, has become a full-scale industrialization on the one thing that anyone in the world agrees on: love. So, commercial entities take advantage of the moment, actually driving the moment so people join along, to sell a variety of goods from chocolates to diamonds to express love.

Well, with your loved ones, love is the same special thing every day, so why should today be any different?

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Never A New Day Without Coffee

It's pouring cats and dogs outside, as children would say if the rain is hard.
I wanted to go to the gym this morning, but sitting in front of the computer finishing up some stuff and the rain outside just kind of attached me into one position for at least an hour, which didn't give me enough time to go to the gym. I need at least 1,5 hours to do my routine, and if I leave home at 7, it would only give me an hour. Oh well, I can go tomorrow, I guess.
One of the habits I have procured over the new year is drinking coffee. I'm not drinking coffee in copious amounts or having stringent standards about which is the best coffee, I just buy one of those simple 3-in-1 sachets (coffee with cream, of course) and add another spoon of sugar (viva obesity!). I drink one glass every day, when I feel like it, and I guess it helps my low-blood pressure, other than the now-frequent excercise. So now, I am typing this, while drinking my cup of coffee.
So like the red band on my right hand, the new habit is also to remind me of change, and my goals.