Sunday, April 30, 2006

My PersonalDNA Test

This is the result of one of those online tests, available here. I'm sure a lot would find it pretty accurate.

You are a Considerate Builder.


about you
You are a Builder
# You are detail-oriented, cautious, and practical, making you a BUILDER.
# You are excellent at focusing on the concrete, functional elements of things, so you're good at making things happen.
# Pursuing novel ways of doing things helps you to be efficient.
# You're great to have on a team, as you understand how things work and don't let your ego get in the way.
# You're perceptive, down-to-earth, and realistic.
# You don't see a need to commit to a set routine or schedule—you'd rather improvise a little.
# Although you may doubt yourself sometimes, you have the skills and the curiosity to pursue broader adventures.
# You like to consider a lot of information before making big decisions, and you think about that information in realistic, thorough ways.
# You don't concern yourself with flashy styles or surface appearances—you're far too sensible for that.
# You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

If you want to be different:
# Think more abstractly about things without abandoning your valuable sensibility.
how you relate to others

You are Considerate
# You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.
# value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.
# You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.
# Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you're somewhat shy and reserved at times.
# Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.
# Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people's behavior.
# You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.
# Your close friends know you as a good listener.
# You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

If you want to be different:
# Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!


Your Personality Chart

This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Each bar indicates the percentage of test takers who entered a lower value for that trait than you did. For example, if Confidence is at 80, that means that 80% of people entered lower values for confidence questions than you did. Based on a sample of 30,000 users. Click here to learn more about the traits.

Confidence



Low / High
8
Openness



Low / High
58
Extroversion



Low / High
44
Empathy



Low / High
84
Trust in others



Low / High
74
Agency



Low / High
20
Masculinity



Low / High
78
Femininity



Low / High
54
Spontaneity



Low / High
32
Attention to style



Low / High
74
Authoritarianism



Low / High
8
Earthy/Imaginative



Imaginative / Earthy
82
Aesthetic/Functional


Functional / Aesthetic
20

Holding Back The Years

Holding back the years,
Thinking of the fear I’ve had for so long.
When somebody hears,
Listen to the fear that’s gone.
Strangled by the wishes of pater,
Hoping for the arm of mater,
Get to me sooner or later,

Nothing ever could, yeah.
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on.

Chance for me to escape from all I know.
Holding back the tears.
There’s nothing here has grown.
I’ve wasted all my tears,
Wasted all those years.
Nothing had the chance to be good,

Nothing ever could, yeah.
I’ll keep holding on,

I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on,
I’ll keep holding on
So tight.

[Simply Red]

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Every Day

Every day, I take any random thought or memory currently in the "Hurt" box, analyze it, ponder it, and extract any meaning or information from it, then I put it into the "Accepted Reality" box. Every day numerous constant whispers of wishes, dreams, and regrets run through my mind, and are simply stored for later processing.
Every day I say to myself, I learn from what I experience, no matter what the outcome.

Then why is the feeling the same?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Running, Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Treading on the treadmill, going slowly, and going a little faster until I reach the time limit, then slow down a bit... then the sit-up machine. Push some sit-ups until my stomach hurts, stop for a while, then start all over again until I'm satisfied.
Then it's the cross-trainer... although I'm lately too often out of breath for that... but I do it anyway, as far as I can... next, it's off to the... whatchamacallits, the things for working your thigh muscles. Yeah that. Also till my thighs hurt a bit. Don't want to work on my lower legs, the muscle there is already a bit bulging due to my mountain-hiking years.
Then it's off to the.. um, dunno what it's called either. It's for working on your upper body muscles, including the arms. I'm not working to lift weights, but more to frequency, so I just use the 10 kgs and do the same thing... push until it hurts.

When actually, I'm trying to push the hurt out.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Over The Weekend

We were supposed to have a practice session on Saturday; but unfortunately David couldn't make it at all that day, and I was sleepy because Sacha and Yadi stayed over and we talked until 3 AM. Me and Sacha had so much fun looking at Yadi's reaction to my "startling revelations", hahaha... but at least I have come to terms of telling the truth to my best friend. Anyhow, it's all in the past now...
So me, Eriz and Riri just hung about the house playing guitars, and talking about the band; there was much that I would want to do with the arrangement of the songs, but since the songs are practically done, I didn't know what else to do with the material anyway. I'll just have to insert my ideals into the new songs we'll be writing...
I had dinner with Pitra at PIM 2 (it was either roadside stall or credit-card enabled restaurant, considering the date...) and then we played pool until we dropped... it was fun, and I won most of the games (out of sheer chance, I think...).
Sunday morning Citra came over so we could start work on the website he was working on; he enlisted my help to do the translations... and we worked until about 5 PM, when we took a break. Citra was going to a wedding, and Lia asked me to join her at EX, so I joined, and we played UNO with a mix of old and new friends (including a totally gorgeous girl!) until 10 PM, where I returned home (and the totally gorgeous girl was nice enough to drive by) to work until 1.30 AM...

So now, I'm so damn sleepy...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Monday, April 17, 2006

Remember Thy Namesake

Not coincidentally, my real name in Sanskrit means "hero", thus the unshakable hero complex I have. And notice that the best superheroes in comics tend to be the ones who work alone?

On the other hand, I must remember the namesake of this blog... to get back on track.

Hello, world...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

In Memoriam: A Happy Ending

So, once again, my personal maxim in life is proven once again: you never get what you really want.













So be it. Life goes on, anyway...

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Everything Is 'Simpler'

I have finally resolved one of my long-standing problems; the outcome not really to my needs and expectations, but the matter is resolved nevertheless. So here I am, back on the digital journey into my mind.

Loving in vain must be my specialty...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Nearing The Home Stretch

As it might be obvious in a couple of later posts, playing music is becoming increasingly more important to me; I don't care if it does not result in a certain financial gain yet (as I am what you would say, still an amateur), but at least I get to make and play music, and have something to show for. Having something to show for is apparently very important to me, after all these years working in an industry where nobody really understands what it is and what I do, and never being able to talk about work with friends.

Perhaps it's the recognition? The acknowledgement? I will not become a hippocrite and deny that I do not need those as a man with a supposedly healthier ego, but as I have done often before, I won't let it get the best of me. Pride is one of the fiercest emotions felt by man, and also the most insignificant; albeit often confused with honor.

Anyway, it's always nice to not have to talk about work and still have something interesting to talk about, with it not being sports or current events. Anybody can talk about that.

The recording session is almost done, but I think the mixing is still far off; and I think a couple of vocal takes and guitar fills need to be redone. Well, at least there's no argument about the arrangements anymore, so it's just a matter of time. Wish us luck!

Sunday, April 2, 2006

One-Month Furlough

Hello, blog, long time no write.

First of all, it's been really busy at the office. A lot of projects and meetings, and I'm trying to set up shorter deadlines for my work, thus more work for me. All these meetings makes catching up with the paperwork difficult.
Also, I was down and out for a week, with laryngitis. Got 3 days leave courtesy of the doctor (and the virus) and slept through all 3 days... my throat has not been the same since.
Bought a MIDI-to-USB interface which was apparently useless on my Mac (unless I buy a self-powered MIDI controller)... well, I'll figure out something, as I do think this converter still will come to use depending on my future computer configuration.
Went to Bogor again to work on Krayola's master recording... I think we still have a couple sessions to go before we're finished, but it's moving along perfectly.
I had no time to update my blog at the office, and once I reached home, I was too tired to make a posting here. Believe me, it's been a long month...

Of course... just to mention here, and never more... my life has suddenly become ultimately more complicated (although Sacha says that my life has always been complicated). Well... complications in life have not always been a bad thing, so I'm still smiling, as wide as ever...