Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Money-wise, Wise With Money

I have been running into some moderate financial problems of late. A project has been dragging on without payment for some time, with me partly guilty as well, when the expenses had been made; I am still buying CDs like crazy (but only for those collectible titles, long-sought-after titles, or good value buys on titles I like), and I have to get over my recently-acquired taste for coffee and sushi.
All these notably high-numbered expenditures has left me a bit short, not to mention a few people have some outstanding debts (and pretty large ones, at that). I could reveresly think of this as a sort of savings, just so I do not touch this money (it is, of course, the profit gained from my last project after expenses and my phone upgrade to the P910i), but of course I do not get any interest, and I just become restless because I never know when the debts would be paid.
In the meantime, I never pull any stops if it means spending something for a dear friend, ever more so at the request of my parents (except the sudden phone call from my Dad asking if I had Rp 13 million handy, which I didn't). I must admit, my logical side always says, whenever you spend money, make sure you get a return of investment. Of course I don't think this when it comes to family, but sometimes, I really have to watch how much I spend in the interest of making a dear friend happy, knowing full well that the gesture may not be returned in comparable terms, if returned at all. I feel guilty thinking this at all, but I do think this...
I have a close friend who I love very much, and on a whim I sometimes give her something or offer to pay for dinner (Please note: this is not a love interest. If it were, I wouldn't even be discussing this). But sometimes I just feel that my gesture is not returned in comparable terms... but oh well. They say to be happy you just have to give more and expect less... at the end, I feel happy just the same for my affection to her (and all my close friends in general). On the other hand, seriously, in these times, I feel the pinch, no matter what the excuse!

I really want to be able to save more money, and spend less, and I think I have been directing my expenses better lately; I do have some money in the bank spared, although just not Rp 13 million. I think I'll have to see how much I can save more, because in the coming months, there will be more money needed for 'personal projects'.

Wish me luck.

Monday, January 30, 2006

The Fruits Of My Labor

So.... such a long weekend. The usual weekend, and Tuesday is a holiday too, so at the last minute, the office gave everybody Monday off! So what had happened so far?

- Saturday, we finished up 2 songs for Krayola's demo CD
- Sunday, exercised till I dropped, but managed to hang out at Soho for a browsing session
- Monday, shopping spree. Bought dozens of DVDs, a USB hub, a USB Bluetooth module, some audio sequencing software, 3 CDs (Rage Against The Machine Live, and two Rod Stewart CDs, the Great American Songbook series), and a new cheap jacket to boot

Today.... I think I'll just stay at home.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Hari Kejepit

Karena hari ini adalah hari biasa yang terjepit antara akhir pekan dan Tahun Baru Hijriyah (yang merupakan libur nasional), entah kenapa kantorku meliburkan semua orang hari ini.

Jadilah, jam segini aku masih di rumah, sedang chatting dan net surfing yang tak terlalu penting...
Hari ini mau ke mana ya?

What Major Are You?

I got this quiz from Detta's blog... it's pretty interesting, and a bit serious, for once, when it comes to these types of quizzes....

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence.





























What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Lullaby For A Madman

See now,
The night has come
It's time to put your confusions to rest near the pillow

Hear now,
The silence
Tell the voices in your head to give it a rest in hollow

Well, wouldn't it be strange
For the only sanity left
Will be put to rest and become one with the infinite madness?

Uh oh,
Uh oh,
Close your eyes and release your depression
Until the morning comes

[Joe Barry]

Rumah Baru

Hari ini, "Sebutir Pikiran Untuk Usaha Bahasa" menempati rumah baru, pindah dari lokasi lama yang sudah agak cenderung tidak menyenangkan dan menyimpan beberapa kenangan pahit.

Moga-moga perpindahan ini membawa hikmah yang lain...

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Welcome Back, Lucy

The past week has been full of work and continuous contemplation in-between; issues at work have been demanding, and the moments after filled with self-directed question-and-answer sessions.

Despite all the turmoil, I have met my old love and she has somehow given me comfort, through my music (or what could become of it). So, Lucy's back, and I'm all the better because of her. Not entirely, but I think things would be better...

Now if I can patch things up with Dara... things would be perfect!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

When The Rain Comes...

The hourse of daytime diffuse into one, so if you don't have any timekeeping devices handy, you'd never know what time it is. They day floats on the grey to dark grey medium, unmotivating, stagnant, and seemingly endless.
Minutes may go by but lifetimes pass through your head, lying on the bed of blissful dreams and broken hopes. Songs of otherwordly contstruct visit my premature dreamtime, yearning to be made into reality yet never passing into force (except in some special cases).
Thus the deep river runs calm, but will break upon any shore or stone harshly.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Come And Go

Have you ever felt it?
The magic of the moment of truth?
The second you know what you want, and what you feel, and be at peace with it.
To give and take sword blows
fighting an enemy yet a friend

Never doing the right thing, when trying to do the right
does not mean to stop
But it means to change your means
alter your perspective
and embark on a totally different journey altogether.

The core stays the same, yet the direction turns different
Let's build a new road

Love comes and goes, but my music stays the same.

Air Tanah

sungai-sungai mengalir bawah tanah di bawah permukaan
sedikit dan terkadang airnya muncul ke permukaan
permukaan pun pecah.

airnya harus dibuang, nih... bagaimana caranya?

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Bowling, Body Temprature, Wine, And Music

So this week has been a mix of the title above, and probably more.
Monday was a half-day, with an office bowling tournament I coordinated, watching King Kong (again)... with me sleeping through part of it, as I had watched it before... and dinner at a cute little restaurant called Nine Muses. The big boss insisted everybody drink up their wine, and even though I resisted, I gave way anyway leading up to 3 glasses downed. I was starting to have a feeling of the flu, so that did not help the next day, and the few days after.
My body temprature was all over the place, the body not stable; one minute fresh, the other minute simply sleepy, nauseaos or no energy at all, which did not help the full slate of work and meetings I had this week.
On Friday, the big boss invited some of us to his new apartement for a housewarming; and sure enough, he insisted everybody drink again (this time, except me). Nelly begged me to help out with her drink, and that resulted in the boss refilling it again (and me drinking it again) several times.... thus postponing again my recovery from the flu. I spent almost all Saturday in bed, only going out for dinner, but the miracle came earlier today.
After lunch with Vira, I went on a jam session with Citra, Teple, Aji and Julian; we only played for 2 hours, and came up writing 3 songs which we will probably forget tomorrow... but now, I feel great! I think the flu has finally past, even though when I left for the jam session, I still felt a bit weezy. I guess the fried rice with mutton afterwords helped, too, hehe...

Now, back to my sound recorder...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Momentary Conclusion

You smile, then you turn away
And drift yourself on the open breeze
What was there to misinterpret? What was there not to believe?
The slow rhythm of traffic pounding into my skin
The cacophony of street noises failing to make me think, and forget

I listen yet no news comes, only echoes
Sounds that float up from within more than reality
Is it true yet again?

I have run for miles yet have not reached the finish line yet
Did I run on the right track? Or maybe, I shouldn't be running at all?

Let's take a moment to conceive
What the heart truly wants to receive

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Certain Thoughts Passing Your Mind?

For depressives everywhere, this book is quite recommended:

The Self-Destruction Handbook.
Just... read it. But be sure to read the disclaimer first...

Bukan Diriku

setelah kupahami aku bukan yang terbaik
yang ada di hatimu
tak dapat kusangsikan
ternyata dirinyalah yang mengerti kamu
bukanlah diriku...

kini maafkanlah aku
bila aku menjadi bisu kepada dirimu
bukan santunku terbungkam
hanya hatiku berbatas 'tuk mengerti kamu
maafkanlah aku

walu ku masih mencintaimu
ku harus meninggalkanmu
ku harus melupakanmu
meski hatiku menyayangimu
nurani membutuhkanmu
ku harus merelakanmu

dan hanyalah dirimu
yang mampu memahamiku
yang dapat mengerti aku

ternyata dirinyalah
yang sanggup menyanjungmu
yang ramah menyentuhmu
bukanlah diriku...


Monday, January 9, 2006

In Memoriam

A friend, Andia, from my university years (she was 2 classes above me), recently passed away due to cancer yesterday afternoon..... since I couldn' stop by to the family to py my respects, allow me to observe a moment of silence through the following blank space.

Saturday, January 7, 2006


I've been pushing myself a lot at the gym lately... yes, I go to the gym now. I want to lose some of this useless fat and meat around my body; and so far I've lost 2 kgs! Due to really pushing... and now, other than my usual share of treadmills, crosstrainers and sit-ups, I'm doing light but frequent weightlifting, which will burn the fat also but not make my muscles bigger (just tigther). My arms and legs are already large, and not because of fat, due to a couple of years of myself pushing again, but that time with all sorts of student activities... where a lot of them involved lifting large things up.
I even developed a sort of science to lifting things efficiently, especially if I had to carry something over a long distance, or carry many things of the same size and weight (i.e. tables, chairs; this skill came in handy for a lot of student events.
Now my body is aching, since it's been a long time since I did frequent sports; I'll just have to be careful not to overexert myself...
Sometimes, on the treadmill, when the heart beats so fast due to the pace, it forgets the pain it was feeling...

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

The Tie Of Power

Today I attended my Dad's professorship ceremony, and took half a day from the office (more on that story later). Since it was a state event officiated by at least 3 cabinet ministers, Dad asked me to dress up neatly; i.e. wear a suit, tie, etc. As the trousers of my suit set do not fit me anymore, I settled with this:

Hence comes the Tie Of Power.
I like wearing ties. They make me feel good; makes me feel better looking. This is further proven by the fact that any girl will say 'wow' or any other admiring adjective when they see the tie. But of course, it's mostly the tie, not me, but I like the feeling anyway.
The tie also makes me feel more 'official', more 'authoritive', and even more 'mature'. It gives me more confidence to speak in public, and I smile better with the tie. So.. all in all, I really like wearing ties.

So maybe I should wear them more often? I think not, the magical powers would wear off...

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

This Way

I need to forget you to move on
But I still remember your smell
I thought you were somewhere close to me
How can it be?

I need to erase you from my mind
But I still feel your arms holding me
Every time I close my eyes...

Now, you have gone so far away
But your presence is still too real
Why you left me to feel this way
I still feel your warm breath in my ear
When you whisper the sweetest thing
Why you left me to feel this way

Don't you know baby that this feeling...
Keeps me waiting, like you'll come back to me
And sometimes in my dreams I see you're smiling
But when I wake up, it just disappeared


Effective Transactions

I was driving with two friends, entering the inner-city tollway, which costs Rp 4500. Eriz, Ms Initiative, gave me Rp 5500 so it would be easier for the toll booth guy to give change in Rp 1000, rather that the often-scarce-when-needed Rp 500 coin. So it was one Rp 5000 bill and one Rp 500 coin.
Of course, Mr Toll Booth Guy, with years of training and experience giving change to a thousand cars a day, saw the Rp 5000 bill from afar and prepared Rp 500 change.
I gave the Rp 5500 anyway to Mr Toll Booth Guy, and at one point he gave me only Rp 500 change when it should be Rp 1000. But then I showed him the Rp 500 coin, prompting him to take the coin, and give me back Rp 1000's worth in the form of two Rp 500 coins.

So... here's the question. Who was stupider, me, Eriz, or Mr Toll Booth Guy?

And What Game Might That Be?

So last week I attended a product launching with Vira.. some cigarette which I don't think I'll name here... so anyway, the launch attempted to introduce a bigger picture to simply the cigarette itself, but also the experience.
So when we arrived at the gate (the event was on the 9th Floor, we were on the ground floor), we were greeted by three gorgeus girls in similar outfits for the event. At first they offered us cigarettes.... then they offered something else: "Want to play a game?"
The game was a Flash-based game, run on a tablet PC, which was hung on one of the girls' neck, so that the tablet PC was positioned strategically over her bosom. And she perhaps unintentionally motioned her chest towards me when offering to play the game....
I blushed and laughed all the way to 9th.

Monday, January 2, 2006

What I Have Learned In The New Year So Far

A gas voucher for Rp 5000 is worth more than a shopping voucher worth Rp 5000.
A good friend is a friend that accompanies you grocery shopping.
You can never have enough CDs, so you just have to know when to stop.
Cinere is far, far away. Even without the traffic jams. Especially through one-lane rural streets.
On January 2nd, nobody goes to work.
Washing a car at night is the same thing as doing it twice, except if you have enough lighting and proper equipment, that is.
Yes... you have to use a brush to clean those darn rubber mattresses.
If you go to the gym in the morning.. you tend to feel sleepy. And lay off all that carb food!
Think it through, but execute quickly. And remember the deadlines!
Being in love is not necessarily a good thing, in fact, in practical matters, it's a mess. But it's a damn good feeling!

Sunday, January 1, 2006

This Morning

I woke up earlier than usual today, I wanted to get a fresh start on the new year... urm, no. I wanted to get an earlier start so I could drop by the car wash for a bit and get Noni's car a bit of much-needed spring cleaning, outside and inside. Apparently most of the car washes were either still closed for the morning or the new year's holiday (which I did not get at all... well, sort of), so after driving around the familiar places looking for an open place, I gave up and drove to the office anticipating heavy traffic.
I took a wrong turn at Prapanca, where usually I double back and go through Pondok Jaya to Kuningan, because the car wanted to go through Wijaya where there are more friends (read: traffic jams, hence more cars). Well, the anticipated traffic jam was not there, not there at all, so it was easy driving all the way to the office. I didn't even have to swear at one single vehicle (well... maybe I did. I'm not sure), and arrived at the office at about 8.20 AM.
The office was dark, and almost nobody was there yet...

Melihat Ke Belakang Sebentar

hari ini tahun baru 2006, dan baru sekarang aku terpancing untuk napak tilas apa saja yang telah aku lakukan semenjak kecil.... mungkin supaya ingat untuk menghargai yang aku punyai sekarang...

aku pernah jadi pebalet cilik
aku ikut paduan suara sekolah (sampai kuliah selalu ikut, dengan tingkat keaktifan yang berbeda-beda)
aku sering vokal grup, sampai jadi tim mewakili sekolah dalam lomba vokal grup
aku jadi pemain band; band yang cukup disegani di sekolah, sampai mewakili sekolah ke beberapa acara
aku pernah jadi anggota grup a capella! suara bas tentunya
aku pernah jadi perupa happening art, selama hampir 2 tahun
aku pernah jadi aktivis kampus, terlibat dalam hampir semua kegiatan himpunan
aku pernah jadi demonstran taun 1998, ikut berbaris dan mencetak massal poster-poster propaganda dan benda-benda lain
aku pernah jadi desainer freelance, mendesain grafis untuk uang sekedarnya
aku pernah jadi desainer produk, paling tidak, bercita-cita untuk menjadi desainer produk; belajarnya sih jalan
aku pernah jadi pengamen cabutan, dengan hanya satu lagu andalan (karena yang lain cuma hafal yang itu)
aku pernah jadi penjual barang-barang bekas
aku pernah jadi penjual barang-barang merchandise resmi sebuah acara besar yang hanya berlangsung satu hari
aku pernah jadi web designer freelance; yang nampaknya namaku lebih menyebar ketimbang proyek yang masuk :P
aku pernah jadi penyelenggara sebuah seminar tingkat internasional
aku pernah jadi in-house designer, yang mengurusi web design dan visual merchandising
aku pernah jadi designer barang-barang bekas; barang bekas dijadikan benda-benda baru
aku pernah jadi kasir sebuah restoran
aku pernah membangun sebuah divisi dari nol, padahal pengetahuanku nol juga... di sebuah perusahaan yang akhirnya tutup juga
aku pernah menjadi koordinator media interview untuk sebuah acara musik yang banyak artisnya... pusing!
aku pernah jaga pintu buat acara di sebuah night club (periksa tanda masuk, hitung orang masuk)
aku pernah jadi koordinator merchandising untuk sebuah merek terkenal untuk sekian ratus toko di Indonesia, sudah hampir 2 tahun
dan.. aku kini jual musik.

duh, banyak juga ya... tapi jadi apa ya aku sekarang?