Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Just A Little Story

It's quiet, the artificial cooling of the building has stopped for the day. Not that the building needs much cooling, with regard to the weather; but it is also a necessity because most of the building does not have proper outside ventilation. No, the windows cannot be opened. The air is somewhat clean, from a previous downpour, but ready to take on the daily dose of strange gases coming from human contraptions like automobiles.
The sky can't seem to decide what color it wants to be, because the clouds are cramping its style. On a usual sunny day, the sky would be proudly blue, forcing any clouds, if present, to settle with white; today, as the clouds thought of losing some weight and let go of some water to the earth, the sky got mixed feelings, because of the sudden attention people gave to the clouds... and hid behind the clouds with a shade of grey. The sky and clouds are always at odds, sometimes also with the sun, sometimes obnoxiously radiant and hot, sometimes snobbish and hiding away behind the clouds also.
Sunset is coming, and it's the only time the sky, the clouds, and the sun get along, to bring about a wonderous pallete of colors to feast the eye; and they do it every day, for free. It is the least they can do, before the sky goes to sleep, turning black, the sun goes off somewhere, and the clouds... well, the clouds do stick around, sneaking about, actually, and will hit you with a raindrop when you least expect it.
So, stop avoiding the sky, take a look up, and see what drama, and color, ensues there.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Good Morning!

Once again, I wake up with a warm feeling inside, although the morning is cold.
The seemingly grey light emenating from the windows of my room contrast with the music flowing from my stereo, even more with the mood in my heart.
I feel like I have won something, although I am not a winner.
I feel like the sun has lent an internal radiance into my heart, to complement the hazy, cloudy days that have covered the city for over a week now.
No, do not misunderstand me, it is not those moments where somebody yells "I'm on top of the world!"
It is not one of those moments where a man feels he can do anything, he can master anything, he can conquer anything. It is not one of those seemingly moments of pride.
I'm not sure of any of these things, actually.
What I know for sure -
I am in love with the morning haze.
I might not yet know what it takes to win, but I feel I have the energy to find out.
The driving force, is not pride, but humility and total acceptance. Only when you have acknowledged your current situation, you can recognize the factors and make steps to grow.

Thus I start these days with no more than the weather walking with me, and I walk with a smile.

The Look Of Love

The look of love is in your eyes
A look your smile can't disguise
The look of love is saying so much more than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard, well it takes my breath away

I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you, now that I have found you

You've got the
Look of love, it's on your face
A look that time can't erase
Be mine tonight, let this be just the start of so many nights like this
Let's take a lover's vow and then seal it with a kiss

I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you, now that I have found you
Don't ever go
Don't ever go

Let's Fall In Love

I have a feeling, it's a feeling,
I'm concealing, I don't know why
It's just a mental, sentimental alibi

But I adore you
So strong for you
Why go on stalling
I am falling
Our love is calling
Why be shy?

Let's fall in love
Why shouldn't we fall in love?
Our hearts are made of it
Let's take a chance
Why be afraid of it

Let's close our eyes and make our own paradise
Little we know of it, still we can try
To make a go of it

We might have an end for each other
To be or not be
Let our hearts discover

Let's fall in love
Why shouldn't we fall in love
Now is the time for it, while we are young
Let's fall in love

We might have and end for each other
To be or not be
Let our hearts discover

Let's fall in love
Why shouldn't we fall in love?
Now is the time for it, while we are young
Let's fall in love

[so, whaddaya think?]

Monday, November 21, 2005

Testing The Email Posting System

Well… if you can read this… that means it works.

Full Month!

When it's been a long time since a post, usually I write a post on what such a busy week it has been, how either work or something else has been crazy... now I'm going to write that the whole month is full and crazy...
After a slow start, with a lot of idling at work before the Lebaran holidays and after, the second half of November is filled with stacks of work, at the office and home, and weekends out-of-town in between. There are at least 4 weddings this month, not to mention those that I only found out about later or could not make it. I'm trying to pick up the pace at work, and the side project I usually do is gearing up for another round by the end of the month. Also, a few tasks here and there are bound to be lurking around the corner, waiting to catch me at the most critical moment...
The days have relatively been trouble-free; perhaps this Syawal fasting really has its benefits. On the other hand, something's wrong, something's missing... but I will leave time to answer that riddle. The current situation has its merits, anyway.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Lighter Side Of Jakarta

So... in light of recent conditions, and the need to express our humourous and sarcastic side, especially feelings about our beloved city Jakarta, on a nocturnal whim, me and a friend decided to start up a website, for doing just that.

So... please feel free to read and participate here.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Sometimes You Just Wish You Were A Kid Again

Two legendary lines of science fiction (and its assorted toys) have just combined:
Whether it makes sense to either storyline(s), that would be a matter of debate among both camps of fans of Star Wars and Transformers...

Monday, November 14, 2005

Puasa Syawal

hari ini aku memulai sebuah ujian untuk diriku, yaitu puasa syawal. entah kenapa aneh sekali buat teman-temanku, bahwa aku melakukan ini...

moga-moga bisa selesai.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Was Once New

I encountered this, um, vehicle yesterday, a bajaj, a type of public transport only known in Jakarta other than its origins in India; in general, they are at least 20-odd years old with extensive repairs or replacements here and there (some even 100% changed altogether).
This bajaj sports the writing "Was Once New" on its rear, um, windshield.
Weren't we all once new?

I'm Sorry, So I Did An Even Stupider Thing To Make It Up To You

[is that title even correct grammatically?]

I forgot my best friend's birthday, yesterday. Well, there's a reason that I use a smartphone; because I'm dumb at these things. Yeah, I know... I expect the entire world to remember my birthday, but I can't remember anyone else's. So sue me... or at least, that's what my best friend would of done. Sentenced me to living hell with her sarcasm.

So... to make it up, I tracked her down to a place where she was doing a TVC shoot, bringing a simple slice of blueberry cake (hoping that the gesture would mean more than the cake, but the cake looked damn good anyway) and... dropped in into the entire cast of co-workers. Well, you know what they say about office gossip...
Thus, I came out the proud victor of the day, having the mission successful beyond expectations; with some mild repercussions for the plaintiff/victim, and apparently me with the last laugh for the day. On the whole, here's something you don't do everyday. It was damn fun!

So anyway... happy birthday dear; thank you for your friendship, hope everything goes well for you; I hope you gain wisdom and more blessings for the coming year, and hopefully you can still put up with me for another year. It's safe to say that I don't think I'd be forgetting your birthday next year, hahaha....

Saturday, November 12, 2005

So, What Is Karaoke Again?

Dude: So are you going to sing karaoke?
Girl: No, I don't think so. Are you?
Dude: Nah.
Girl: Why not? Can you sing?
Dude: Oh yeah, I can sing. I just don't read.

--Nevada Smith's, 3rd Avenue

taken from Overheardinnewyork

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Aduh! Lidahku!

hari ini lambat banget lewatnya, mungkin karena kerjaan gue udah kelar dari tadi, dan gue bisa ngejawab-jawabin email secepat kilat abis masuk ke inbox gue. gue lagi chatting nggak perlu sama temen lama gue, temen semasa kuliah, tapi beda angkatan... ga ada yang cukup penting untuk ditulis di sini, dan obrolannya pun nggak menginspirasikan gue untuk menulis sesuatu yang lain.

modblog udah kayak gini terus sebulan lebih kali ya; ganggu banget. padahal gue bikin blog di sini mau nyoba-nyoba fasilitas-fasilitas yang konon lengkap abis itu... eh, sekarang blas cuma bisa dipake buat nulis-nulis doang. gue belom tau sih, sebenernya kita bisa ngubah templatenya sendiri kayak di kebanyakan provider layanan blog lain, tapi jadi agak males gitu ngoprek-ngopreknya. sebaliknya, gue lagi ngoprek abis blog gue yg satu lagi... buat semangat baru aja. buat menggebrak rutinitas lama dengan memberikan tiap hari sebuah rasa yang baru. gitu deh.

pengen pulang... tidur... paling nggak istirahat lah, biar nanti malem bisa ke Parc.

Wednesday, November 9, 2005


I hope tomorrow will bring better you, better me
I know that we'll show this world we got more we could be
So you should never give up on your hopes and your dreams
You gotta get up, get out, get into it, get it on to be strong

If we try, we can fly to a whole 'nother place
All we need is belief and a smile on our face
We can go anywhere we want, any road we decide to take
And we're never, never, never too far from tomorrow today

If tomorrow is light in a place where there's none
Then know that now is the time to have faith in us all
Ya know we're all in this world and we all can belong
We gotta get up, get out, get over it, get it on to be strong

If we try, we can fly to a place in the sun
All we need is precious dreams and a friend we can trust
We can go anywhere we want, any road that we can take
And we're never too far from tomorrow today

Ev'rybody say tomorrow is just for us to share
And we're gonna send our message of love out ev'rywhere
There's a promise of love tomorrow has
Something special and it's something we know will last and last

'Cause we're never far away, never
One thing I can always be sure of
Far away, no never the promise of today

[Quincy Jones featuring Tevin Campbell. For myself, and someone who should sing this with me. Well, I mean the spirit of the song, anyway. Get up, get out, get over it]

The Paradox Of Hedonism

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

The paradox of hedonism was first explicitly noted by the philosopher Henry Sidgwick in The Methods of Ethics.

More than a few common proverbs capture the idea that when one pursues happiness itself, one is miserable; but, when one pursues something else (e.g. a challenging career, a project important to humanity, a code of ethics, a religious commitment), one achieves happiness. Among others thinkers, John Stuart Mill, a Utilitarian philosopher, noted this in his autobiography:

"But I now thought that this end [one's happiness] was only to be attained by not making it the direct end. Those only are happy (I thought) who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness[....] Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness along the way[....] Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so." (p. 94)

Happiness is often naively equated with pleasure, though sometimes the identification of the two concepts has been argued as part of a greater philosophical position called hedonism.

If, whether for good or bad reasons, one does equate happiness with pleasure, then the paradox of hedonism arises. When one aims solely towards pleasure itself, one's aim is frustrated. Sidgwick comments on such frustration after a discussion of self-love in the above-mentioned work:

"I should not, however, infer from this that the pursuit of pleasure is necessarily self-defeating and futile; but merely that the principle of Egoistic Hedonism, when applied with a due knowledge of the laws of human nature, is practically self-limiting; i.e., that a rational method of attaining the end at which it aims requires that we should to some extent put it out of sight and not directly aim at it." (p. 3)

Aristotle might possibly have also noted the paradoxical side of pursuing pleasure, though not, at any rate, as clearly as Sidgwick. Human beings are actors whose endeavors bring about consequences, and among these are pleasure. Aristotle then argues as follows:

"How, then, is it that no one is continuously pleased? Is it that we grow weary? Certainly all human things are incapable of continuous activity. Therefore pleasure also is not continuous; for it accompanies activity." (p. 1099)

Here Aristotle might be interpreted as noting how eventually the spirit is willing [to pursue pleasure], but the flesh is weak [in obtaining pleasure]. Perhaps this is at the root of what causes the paradox to arise. Sooner or later, finite beings will be unable to acquire and expend the resources necessary to maintain their sole goal of pleasure; thus, they find themselves in the company of misery.



Tuesday, November 8, 2005

A Fresh Look

It came as a whim, but the whim came as a cause, of what has been running in my head for a while. A new perspective needs new colors, too...
So here it is. I will be doing a bit of reworking here and there over the weeks, but.... this is the new look. Hopefully fresh enough for all of us.
Why "Positivity" as the new title?
To remind myself... always.


aku ingin kamu tahu:
aku menyayangimu, melebihi logika, melebihi apa yang seharusnya aku rasa dan pikirkan. walaupun tidak sebanyak dahulu, sebuah detik dalam sehari akan aku luangkan untuk kamu, dan kenangan.

aku harap pencarianmu telah berakhir, dan aku harap tempat yang telah kau capai kini memberikan keamanan, kenyamanan dan balutan kepercayaan yang selama ini kamu cari-cari sampai meruntuhkan kepekaan dan logika.

aku juga tahu, kamu tidak peduli tulisan ini - bahkan, media ini bertentangan dengan prinsip kamu sebelumnya. tapi, paling tidak salah satu dari kita harus dapat mengungkapkan hal-hal yang tak pernah terungkap.

aku akan memasukkan kamu ke dalam sebuah kotak, yang berisi pelajaran-pelajaran terdahulu; kamu adalah ilmu bagi hidupku, itulah hikmah keberadaanmu bagiku. hanya saja,... tak akan lebih dari itu, takkan lagi.

mari kita ganti topik pembicaraan...

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Idul Fitri

Today is Idul Fitri, a yearly celebration in the Muslim religion, of the so-called victory over lust, sin and other human drives after a 30-day fast. Technically you're supposed to not eat and drink from dawn to dusk, but a good fast would be avoiding other human drives like sexual drives, bitching, cursing and everything else that's fun.
As usual, after the Ied prayer in the morning, we get together with the rest of the extended family, and fill our stomaches to the limit with anything on the table. There are some traditional dishes, but usually it varies from region to region anyway. The most important thing is to gather with family, and to forgive each other for whatever wrongdoings or sins that happened the year past.

Let's take a look at what I mentioned last year on this event. Things never really do change, eh?

Today, I am trying to swallow my pride, and forgive someone I'm not quite ready to forgive yet.
So help me God.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

A Little Bit Of Burt Bacarach

I just don't know what to do with myself
Don't know just what to do with myself
I'm so used to doing everything with you
Planning everything for two
And now that we're through

I just don't know what to do with my time
I'm so lonesome for you it's a crime
Going to a movie only makes me sad
Parties make me feel as bad
When I'm not with you
I just don't know what to do
Like a summer rose needs the sun and rain
I need your sweet love to ease all the pain

[Burt Bacarach, 1962]

Parsel Lebaran