Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Confusion Is A Lonely Moment

Unexpectedly, although according to schedule, I came home "early" today. At precisely 6.38 PM I was home, and even got to sleep a bit before delving into the book I have been reading (a moderate science-fiction book I bought second-hand). Yet through the minutes between asleep and awake, the full force of my confusion comes into light.

Before me lies a choice. A better oppotunity, so to speak; currently not really quantifiable, but definitely good. On the other hand, there is the current situation, which is not so bad. Good also, actually, and a loosely-related item at work has certainly got me excited a bit (although still disbelieving). Both choices ostensibly will change my life, as most of my major decisions do, but with differing directions, and not entirely differing, either.

The sacrifices that come with the choices are significant, also, so are the risks. All elements that apparently I endure and enjoy, as I always unconsciously pick the harder roads to take (of course, the ones that bring the most benefits and lessons).

It's a good problem, a problem that a lot of people would only dream of; yet it remains a problem that I can't seem to solve on my own. I am somehow not comfortable relying on my heart, instinct and experience to choose an outcome; as I often do, I usually consult my trusted friends and colleagues for honest opinions.

But somehow, I can't. So, today, confusion is a lonely moment... and I lament the fact that I am sad because of good tidings.

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