Thursday, October 7, 2004

You're Too Kind

A few people close to me sometimes say... you're too kind. I just let it go when in fact i have a problem, i just take it on when somebody just throws garbage at me,... just.. too.. kind. Vira says, i keep thinking about other people other than myself.... Oettie says, i gotta learn to say no; and you know what i say? i can't help it! i skimmed through a book about eating disorders, (no... it was my boss' book, not mine...), and it says that behaviour like that is called Conformed Negative Condition. yep, it's a mental state, so it's not something that just goes away. it's imprinted and can be identified from childhood. the symptoms are (see if you have them or not) always thinking about others, always feeling underserving, always trying to take care of others, and in early childhood given responsibilities too big for them to handle, so tends to be utterly and overly responsible to a fault (the example was like, if parents leave behind their kid at home, they say "take care of the house while we're gone ya!" when in fact they mean "just stay home, it's safer, and we wouldn't have to worry about you too much." the kid takes it literally, all alone in the house, thus taking a responsibility that even a lot of adults can't handle.. hehe...). so.. any of you guys fit the description? i'm not believing this 100%, but i'm not denying it either, that someone i don't know, lives thousands of miles away, and talking about eating disorders (i think i eat rather nicely, thank you) could describe 3 point features of my personality?? food for thought, i guess.

anwyay, why am i bringing this up? because the guy i replaced at my new office apparently left a lot of homework... got me wondering what the hell he'd been doing all this time. and not to mention, my last job had a very similar story... so it's like fate... people just throw shit at me and expect me to take care of it... not now. i leave the shit as it is, haha, but as long as there is nothing else i can do.

ok.. i guess, it's better to know than not to know, even if i have no idea what to do about it.

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