Happiness Is Such A Fleeting Moment

Why is it, for me, that uncertainty brings such so much thoughts, and ravaging pains, as it always assumes the worst. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Hope is often short-lived and expensive, and is in short supply all over the world.
Maybe because happiness is so much more worthwhile when it comes as a suprise, because the sheer positive shock of it would have to be joy. If it just gradually creeps in... maybe it isn't what it seems. Have I been blind, or just preferentially impaired?
One more note... listen to your friends, especially if a couple of totally different people say the same thing.

Penumpukan

seberapapun aku ingin melepaskan diri dari dunia yang serba materiil ini, selalu saja keadaan berbalik sehingga aku harus mencari uang untuk makan, untuk tinggal, dan untuk ketenangan hati supaya aku dapat berangan-angan mengenai sebuah kehidupan non-materiil.

oh iya, aku telah kembali setelah perjalanan ziarah ke daerah yang tanpa inspirasi untuk ditulis di sini. barulah hari ini aku mengunjungi dan membuat tulisan, dan kelihatannya akan agak banyak karena rupanya kata-kataku menumpuk jua.

fasilitas ini sempat mati juga, hingga aku tak dapat menulis...

untuk menulis ini pun, perlu uang toh? perlu barang. kini harga bensin naik, ongkos transportasi naik, sebentar lagi harga makanan naik, sampai-sampai tarif sewa kosku akan naik juga. gaji segitu-gitu saja. semakin lama kita hidup, semakin banyak kebutuhan juga...

adapun sesuatu yang sebenarnya tidak bernilai materiil... kadang-kadang perlu dipupuk dengan materi juga. kasih makan anak dengan cinta? tidak... cinta dan makanan. jasmani dan rohani. jasmani puas mahal didapat, rohani puas sulit diraih.

aku masih menunggu sebuah senyuman menyambut, karena itu akan cukup membayar semuanya. apakah mungkin, ada kaitannya dengan astronomi? bulan dan bintang? kita lihat saja...

Belated Reminesence

Suddenly, but not quite suddenly, it's been a year since my first post on this blog; a year since the New Leaf sprang to life.

Let's see what I wrote on that first post:

Today... is the first day... of a somewhat new era.
Although i still have unfinished business of my past life, the gateway has been past.

Today, i start a new job, in a sort of new life, because through the past few months, so many things have changed around me and within me, and so i call today a new life. When before i worked at various small companies.. today i start working at a relatively big company, in a big building and all. The prospect of a new job, a new life alone is a bit intimidating for me, not to mention the trappings that go with the job.

Suddenly, i feel a wave of loneliness overcoming, as this new experience, this new life, comes with no one to share it with. And, just for a minute there while i was on the bus, i got a glimpse into the future, the monotony, the routine, of going to the same office, going to the same cubicle... and the apparent emptiness of it all.

So with this new life... i start something i've never really done before, which is... start a blog, and share with the world my feelings and thoughts.

Let's see where the day carries me.

I'll be pondering these words tonight... and thinking on how much a year really changes things.

Back With A Vengeance

My old mobile number is finally active again, after a few days blackout and a grueling trip to Kelapa Gading to obtain the new SIM card. So now I'm back with a vengeance!
Of course, I'll be treading carefully, in the broadest sense... things are finally better, but you never really know... not unless you know for sure what's in front of you.

Lost!

When riding on the bus this morning, I had just got up from my seat, to get off... suddenly some strange guy was slapping my feet, as though it were dirty... the next thing I know, MY PHONE IS GONE! It only took a second I guess... when I realized that it was gone, I looked behind me, but suddenly someone in the bus said "Hey, I saw someone jump off just now", so I jumped off also... come to think of it, everybody was still on the bus....

Damn!
Oh well.

Days That Are Rolling By

I am sitting in a cybercafe in my beloved home city, Bandung, on a short weekend trip to do the unecessary things that I havenever had time for in previous months. All the while, I still have to go here and download some work documents for me to follow up tomorrow. They're huge! 10 MB in all, and I have no idea on how I am going to spread the files to the rest of the team, internet being what it is these days.
Anyway, I did have some missions accomplished yesterday; me and Tanti visited Sena, Santi and their new baby. Their daughter is the spitting image of Sena, similar down to the eating habits, haha. Before, I hooked up with an online buddy, Avi, and she accompanied me to Sekeloa, where you can find good second-hand CDs for a reasonable price, and BEC to do some phone-browsing. Avi was jumpng up and down excitedly, looking at all those CDs, because she had never been there before; I took my time and finally bought 5 CDs to my ever-expanding CD collection. Time to buy that CD tower. We went to BEC because my phone had been acting up all the time for the past months, and I had just about had it with the dumb thing, and only this morning I got an inspiration on what phone I should get if all efforts to repair the phone comes to no avail.
Me and Tanti hooked up with a Lambey, Herra and Boncel at one of my favorite restaurants, Warung Sate Maranggi. They serve a totally delicious fried rice with mutton (extra chilli, of course) and at a good price, too. I was really suprised that the prices remained the same after so long, and the bill for 3 people was equal to what I would pay for one meal in Jakarta. I knew this difference, but I still couldn't believe it.
Anyway, last week me and Mia started work and ideas on a small Lebaran parcel project for some additional income (well actually, it had been her idea all along). So we bought some sample stuff, and Mia was going to make some pictures of the parcel packaging with the stuff inside (if you don't know, these Lebaran parcels are usually decorated packages filled with various food and beverages; and usually given to other people as gifts). Well, I think I'll leave Mia to the initial packaging, as when it comes to handiwork, I am now all thumbs and better off typing something on a keyboard.
Last Thursday, a long postponed dinner with Nadia came about, with her treating me at a somewhat exotic Japanese yakitori restaurant called Konoha. Although I had dinner earlier together with break of fasting, when Nadia called just to say "Are we on?" I was immediately tempted. We met the night before at the bus station and she promised she would make good on her deal with me when I bought her dinner when she was extraordinariy broke. So we went... and the food was sooooo good.... and so damn expensive! I ended up paying part of the bill anyway, out of pity to Nadia. Well... I think Konoha has become an official yearly habit. Once a year is enough, any more would sting my wallet... hahaha...

Holiday

So.... after a long spell of not posting anything, I am back, and not necessarily for the better. I have been, as always, packed to the brim with work, thus not leaving me any time to write posts; and the past 4 days I have been on a much-needed leave.
The trip was to a city that I have more or less fallen in love with, Kuala Lumpur, as it was my third time there, and this time all with my own money. The trip gave a bit of refreshing to my brain, and my heart; the extraordinary circumstances of being in a still strange city gave me enough time and energy to expend more thoughts on myself, rather than just my work (or everyone else besides me).

The holiday was marred thouugh, with the news of the second Bali bombing. My deepest condolances go out to all those afflicted. Good thing we changed out holiday plans to Bali at the last minute.

I think I will write some more on the trip, and the thoughts it gave birth to, later.